Friday, December 10, 2010

Holiday Post #4: And the Nominees Are...

We @ Drifting into Deep Water are proud to present the 7th Annual Celebrity M.I.L.F. of the Year Contest (AKA The Visions of Ypsi Memorial Celebrity MILF of the Year Contest). Before you vote, however, be sure to read the rules:
1) The nominations have been considered and narrowed down, just lunlike last year's 11, to a nice round 12 contestants.
2) Each reader of Drifting into Deep Water is allowed one (1) vote.
3) Votes are to be posted in the comments section of this post. Votes sent via e-mail or as a Facebook post will be counted if & only if we so choose.
4) Giving people shit based on who they voted for is not only accepted, but encouraged.
5) All votes posted by 12:00 AM on New Years Eve will be counted.
6) Voting is closed @ 12:01 AM New Years Day.
7) Late nominations will be considered, but discouraged.
8) Those nominated but not included on this official ballot are not eligible for late nominations.
8.1) Nominating a gay man who has recently welcomed the arrival of twins via a surrogate if awesome, but may not be quite w/in the scope of this contest (in that he would be a STILF, not a MILF). We'll include him just in case y'all disagree (in this case, the "ST" is in reference to his character, Barney Stinson]).
9) If a voter wishes to change his or her vote, she or he must petition the writers of Drifting into Deep Water.
10) Anonymously posted votes will only be accepted if the writers of Drifting into Deep Water are told who the person is who is voting anonymously. In other words, the post can be anonymous and anonymity will be protected, but we want to know who is voting to ensure true single votes.
11) We @ Drifting into Deep Water will only cast a vote to break a tie if said vote is necessary or if we don't like who won. If you don't like that, you can get your own Celebrity MILF of the Year Contest.
12) As always, nominees must not have been eligible last year so we're setting the cut-off dates @ August. Any celebrity to have given birth before 1 September 2009 is ineligible.

Lakiha Spicer: Mike Tyson has yet again impregnated a woman. This time, it's his relatively new wife. whether or not she's really a celebrity is open to debate, but he sort of is, so we'll allow it. We will refrain from all ear-biting jokes at this juncture.












Rachel Zoe: I imagine a couple of you know who this person is, but seeing as I haven't watched Bravo in years (& she hasn't been mentioned on The Soup, I'd never heard of her. Her show has been on for a couple years & she's married to some investment banker who is now famous for making a different kind of deposit.












Alanis Morissette: We here @ Drifting into Deep Water have never been huge fans of her music, but she played God in Dogma... that has to stand for something. Plus, we are able to bring you this cool picture of her pregnant belly all hennafied.












Christina Applegate: Does she have a sit-com? I think she does, but I'm not certain. Even if she doesn't, she definitely had one when I was in high school. Her real claim to fame though is her role in Don't Tell Mom the babysitter is Dead... brilliant! Apparently, her fiance, Martyn LeNoble, is the person who knocked her up. I didn't take the time to figure out who that is... you can do a little research on your own.












Stella McCartney: Just 2 days after the anniversary of Lennon's assassination, Paul's Daughter gets this nomination... He's always stealing John's thunder.The baby was actually born a couple weeks ago though, so it was a prelude to the anniversary mourning. Here's to hoping her next kid has smaller ears.










Neil Patrick Harris: He seems like a good dude. He's fantastic on How I Met Your Mother & his activism seems pretty impressive too. I have no idea who the surrogate is, nor do I think she would qualify as a celebrity even if I did know. If he wins, it would be legend... wait for it...











Mariah Carey: One of the few nominees to legitimately be considered a celebrity. I'd quote one of her songs here, but I'd have to look them up first... "don't go chasing waterfalls"? I don't think that's right. I think that was TLC. As it turns out, for someone whose songs I can't name, she's had a hell of a lot of #1s... yeah, I looked it up after all. I guess I do know her version of "All I Want for Christmas is You." Does that count?











Danica McKellar: The former Wonder Years star has claimed that the best part of pregnancy is that her "boobs are bigger".. Well, it didn;'t take a child star from the '80's to tell me that, but it doesn't hurt. We'll see if her assets add up to a victory in the competition... get it, "add up"? because she writes books about math! Nevermind....











Nina Garcia: According to some random pregnancy site, she is a judge on Project Runway. If any of you have ever seen the show, you can verify this for us. i was excited for a minute, because I thought she might be one of Jerry's daughters, but I don't think that is the case.











Pink: Here we have our 2nd rather well known pop-singer. Like Mariah Carrey, I've never listened to her music, but I won't deny that most of you love it. I guess that's not quite true; I did hear that anti-George W. Bush song she released 4 or 5 years ago. That was pretty alright, & if she wins this, she too will be able to say, "Mission Accomplished!"












Jodie Sweetin: Before you ask who this is, I'll give you a hint; she was on a really bad sit-com around the same time as The Wonder Years, & Married, w/ Children. Still not enough? OK, a really, really bad sit-com. Another hint? OK, a sit-com w/ the Olsen twins, Bob Saget, John Stamos, & Dave Coulier. her status as a celebrity was good enough for celebritypregnancy.sheknows.com, I guess it's good enough for us. I don't know who the father is, but then again, if the arc of her show is any indication, she probably doesn't either.












Alicia Keys: Yet another pop singer, but this time, 1 who was name checked in "Thunder on the Mountain" by Bob Dylan on his 2007 release, Modern Times. The lyrics go thusly: "I was thinkin' 'bout Alicia Keys, couldn't keep from crying / When she was born in Hell's Kitchen, I was living down the line / I'm wondering where in the world Alicia Keys could be / I been looking for her even clear through Tennessee." This all I know about her so I can't really comment on anything else... except that she was hanging out on a yaught w/ Queen Latifah after her wedding... I kind of dig Queen Latifah, but her 1st album isn't really as good as all the fuss suggests. I've seen it listed on a bunch of top album lists lately, but when it came out, it didn't impress me at all.











...dary.

14 comments:

Liz Peltier Moyer said...

Mariah Carey, biatch!

Anonymous said...

This one is easy. Alicia Keys.
Don S.

peltierinator said...

I vote for NPH and Tiffany votes for Penelope Cruz even though you did not put her on the ballot (write in to make it a 4 way tie).

I do respect her devotion to her brother Tom and his love of Scientology.

Andre said...

Penelope and Tom are siblings. These are the nuggets of info people get when they read my blog. Awesome.

Jack G. said...

Jodie Sweetin... just to keep things honest.

Andre said...

Nice Jack. That's a classy link. A stupid vote, but a classy link.

jeremy said...

i freely admit that i have a crush on pink...and i actually like some of her music...she gets my vote.

Andre said...

Just for clarity's sake, was that strange statement about Pink & her music Jeremy B or Jeremy M?

Anonymous said...

Oh, wow! Tough choice this year! I love NPH, but I'll agree with your Filf rule.

Torn between Alanis Morissette and Pink. Can I give them each 1/2 my vote?

Merry Christmas, Annette

Andre said...

If half votes were acceptable, I'd have split my vote between Goe & Nader, but alas, that was nnot to be. Get off the fence!

Zoe the Wonder Dog said...

Morissette. You killed Keys with that picture! McKellar is cute -- looks just like herself, but... eh.

Anonymous said...

oh, fine. Morrissette. Jagged Little Pill one of the best albums EVER, and her remake of "My humps" is just f-ing awesome.

Annette

peltierinator said...

Morrissette can't possibly win. If this happens I may stop visiting the site.

Andre said...

Well, you better start spreading the word because she just picked up a 3rd vote.

We are not pleased, but it is what it is.