Presidents' Day Snow Day

In England, there are always soccer games on bank holidays, but since we don't have that as a way to celebrate our former presidents, we'll do it w/ 8" of snow & a fun little list instead. It's been a pretty rough few days in the ol' homestead, but we're surviving & I think in the long-run, things will be much better. (How's that for a cryptic sentence that raises all sorts of questions but says nothing at all?)

Here's the Official Drifting Into Deep Water Top Ten Presidents of All Time. (Of course, we are also celebrating Nina Simone's & Vince Welnick's birthdays today, but we aren't listing the top 10 "Samba in the Rain" ... that would be silly). We're basing this list on 4 things (w/ a scale of 1-10 where 1 is low & 10 is high): looking presidential, thinking presidential, acting presidential, & all around coolness. A president can score high on all around coolness like Teddy Roosevelt or high on looking presidential like George H. W. Bush, but then very low on other criterion so we'll have to so we'll have to be very careful as we come to our determination here.

10)Millard Fillmore: Score - 26
He was an asshole No-Nothinger, but his name was Millard Fillmore. How awesome is that?
9) Martin van Buren: Score - 27
He was the 1st American born president & has a fictional street gang named after him... a gang known for assaulting Kramer & George. That's pretty cool. His stance on slavery was less cool, but better than many of his contemporaries.
8) Warren G. Harding: Score - 28
The G. is for Gamaliel... pretty cool name. He worked hard on his Anti-Lynching campaign & there are rumors that he had more than a little African American and Native American ancestry & that he was all about the orgies. Of course, there's also the Teapot Dome scandal... the coolest name for a presidential scandal ever.
7) James Madison: Score - 30
He wrote the Bill of Rights, his wife was the 3rd best gas station pastry maker, Dolly Madison,and his VP was named George Clinton!
6) Grover Cleveland: Score - 32
He served 2 terms but they weren't consecutive. That's pretty cool. Plus, as his name suggests, he was probably pretty adept @ explaining the concepts of "Near" & "Far."
5) Teddy Roosevelt: Score - 34
Kind of a macho tool, but he was our macho tool... like Hemingway & Randy Savage.
4) Abraham Lincoln: Score - 36
He saved the Union & reluctantly ended slavery. Although that wasn't his main goal, he was willing to listen to Frederick Douglass & realized Douglass simply had better ideas than he did. Just think about what might have been possible if every president was willing to listen to smart people all the time.
3) John Adams / Bill Clinton (tie): Score - 37
Where Clinton often came across as a sex-crazed hillbilly, his genious was in his ability to get stuff done & help the people who needed help the most. He was a great negotiator who was able to raise our political capital around the world.
John Adams was a bad-ass. He was briliant & always looking to listen to Abigale who was also briliant. Had it been posible for her to be President, she may have made the list too.
2) Thomas Jefferson: Score - 38
He wrote the Declaration of Independence. He understood the limits of presidential power while being more than willing to overstep them when a good bargain came along, & he understood the importance of an educated electorate in order to for a more perfect union. If not for his more than problematic relationship w/ slavery (& one slave specifically) he may have scored a perfect 40. Then again, his views on slavery weren't anything more than products of his time. The vast majority of the rich white land owners felt the same way... if not much worse. Of course, that doesn't completely excuse him, but I don't think he deserves the vitriol he gets for this
1) Franklin Roosevelt: Score - 40
Beat Hitler, instigated the New Deal, & was actually willing to listen to his awesome wife... a wife who had great ideas about war, women, & the working (& out of work) poor. Plus, the dude overcame polio to rise to the Presidency. That's just Bad-Ass... Teddy could never have done that.

Honorable Mention goes out to JFK & Woodrow Wilson
Knowing full well that this is the official list, you can still feel free to post your own top 10 in the comments section.