Holiday Post #12: The Winner

We were going to call this post "All is Quiet on New Years Day," but the silence you're hearing is actually the residual effects of low voter turn out. (Plus, we've never quoted U2 before, & we're not going to start now.) I guess that's what happens when the candidates just aren't very inspiring. Here we have a lesson we should have learned from George Bush & Michael Dukakis or if not then than at least from John Engler & Geoffery Fieger. Fieger Time!" didn't work then, & "Applegate Time!" was always-already destined to fail now. Oh well, we can suffer through this year like we suffered through the George Bush's single term & come out the other side (next December) w/ a better crop of nominees. Stephanie & Jason both abstained based on the fact that the nominees sucked. Daye said multiple times that she was about to vote but never did. Neither Courtney nor Steve ever got around to it either which means that w/ the 1 late vote on facebook, the returns look like this:
Alicia Keyes: 1
Mariah Carey: 2
Neal Patrick Harris: 1
Penelope Cruz: 1
Jodie Sweetin: 1
Pink: 1
Alanis Morissette: 2
After a grand total of 9 votes, we have a tie between 2 less than stellar pop songstresses which basically means the final decision comes to me. And this isn't the easiest of decisions since I'm rather sympathetic to the belief that this year's crop has yielded some strange fruit. I was actually pulling for Danica McKellar, but such is life. To paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld, You don't go to a Celebrity MILF of the Year contest w/ the MILFs you want, you go w/ the MILFs you have. Before we announce the winner though, we need to give a little shout out to NPH. He was never going to win, but his nomination was a kin to Run-DMC being nominated for a Grammy in 1986. The floodgates are open & in 10 years, you may see gay men dominating the contest.

OK, now on to your winner. I hated her 1st album w/ a passion. It was over-played on the radio & over-praised by the critics. Isn't it ironic then that all these years later I have to do this. I feel like James Tolkan in Top Gun when he has to send Maverick & Goose to Miramar. The saving grace here is that she played God in Dogma... & for once kept her enormous, Julia Robertseque mouth shut. It's not the best Kevin Smith film, but when compared to "One Hand in My Pocket," it seems quite brilliant. So here's to her; your Visions of Ypsi Memorial Celebrity MILF of the Year: Alanis Morissette.