Sunday, May 15, 2011

Summer of Cruise: The Reviews Part 1

Austin Powers in Goldmember: As I explained on the first Cruise post, I watched this last summer during the Spacey-a-thon. I'm counting that as a viewing... I can't subject myself to it again... it's shit! (Zero out of four volleyballs)

Mission: Impossible: I saw this when it was first released on video, but I liked it more this time. It's definitely got some problems, but over all it holds up pretty well. Mainly though, the reason we (Aiden & I... btw, it's Aiden's big 10th b-day today; be sure to give him a happy birthday shout out!) watched it was because we wanted to see the 3rd on which was directed by J. J. Abrams but figured we should watch the others first. (2 1/2 out of 4 volleyballs)

Mission: Impossible II: Not a whole lot different from the first one, it's fun but lacks something. It's been a month or so & I don't even remember what happened. (2 1/2 out of 4 volleyballs)

Mission: Impossible III: It's certainly the best of the lot. Abrams's weirdness (though no time travel) comes through nicely... as do the references to old James Bond films... even the George Lazenby on, On Her Majesty's Secret Service gets a nod... but so few people have seen that one, it's kind of a funny movie to reference. And it's better than its reputation suggests; it's no Mission: Impossible III, but it's good. Speaking of James Bond, after a few drinks w/ a Nicola's co-worker the other night, we decided that a chronological Bond-a-thon might be in order for the summer too... I'll keep you posted. (3 1/2 out of 4 volleyballs)

Tropic Thunder: This was on TV a month or so ago. It's funny, but I don't know that it holds up as well as I expected. Cruise is good, but so much of the humor is based on shock value, but w/o the shock, it doesn't work as well. (2 1/2 out of 4 volleyballs)

Minority Report: I watched this one because, as you well know, I'm teaching a sci/fi class next year & so I've been trying to refamiliarize myself w/ some of the bigger sci/fi films of the last decade. It's good. I saw it when it first came out on dvd, but the disc skipped & I never saw the end. It's based on a short story by Philip K. Dick (which I'm sure you already knew), but I've never read anything by him. I suppose I'll have to remedy that soon. (3 1/2 out of 4 volleyballs)

War of the Worlds: This pretty much blows, but the effects are cool & it's a better film that the 1950s Red-Scare version... & it's yet another Spielberger to deal w/ daddy issues... I'd do the list of them, but that should be it's own post some time. (BTW, Minority Report has some weird daddy issues too.) (2 out of 4 volleyballs)

Top Gun: Awesome as you know. Yet, maybe it's only awesome because it's been awesome for so long. Aiden was bored out of his mind. I DVRed it last week, & the version I recorded was edited for time which meant the volleyball scene, the "Great Balls of Fire" scene & Maverick's conversation w/ Slider in which he says, "Slider, you stink" were edited out. Those are pretty iconic scenes; a strange decision, indeed. (This one is ripe w/ daddy issues, but it's not a Spielberger.) (3 1/2 out of 4 volleyballs)

Cocktail: Shit! I'd never seen it until last night. The only saving grave was that the disc was skipping so I got to skip ahead a little bit which saved me some time. I couldn't believe how little time was actually spent in Jamaica. That is the image I've always had of the film, but he's only there for about 15 minutes. There should also have been more cocktail making acrobatics. I think a remake could actually do this justice... more time in the Caribbean & more snazzy drink-mixing. And to think it was written by the guy who wrote the novel. There was a novel? WTF? Also, more nudity wouldn't have hurt the film either. (1 out of 4 volleyballs)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You need some Cruise control in your cinema choices. Hit the brakes, put it in reverse, and back away from the trainwrecks.

-Warren

Andre said...

Wow... you were on top of that! Be sure to reread it because I've edited it and added the sweet ratings scale.

jason said...

You gave a movie 3 1/2 stars when you haven't even seen the end? Isn't that kind of an important detail? That's like making a list of top Reuben sandwiches in Washtenaw county when you haven't even been to the most obvious places.

Andre said...

No, no, no. I saw the end last week. I didn't see the end when I tried to watch it when it first came out on video.