Nerdgasm (w/ a sneaky Dylan reference... bonus points if you find it)

OK
Here's the thing...
Over the last few months, I've been rewatching Lost w/ Solstice & Aiden. We're on Season 3 @ the moment. I've since restarted Season 1 w/ Sara as she has never seen it before. Watching her watch it for the first time reminds me of that scene in Freaks & Geeks when Lindsey is carrying American Beauty through the cafeteria & the Dead Head says, "I wish I'd never heard it before so I could here it again for the first time." Lost is sooooo good!

To make matters worse, I'm waiting for the Dish Network dude/dudette to come and fix the connection in the bedroom. At the moment, the TV screen is snowy. It spent the last day and a half showing just the "Starting Up..." screen, & I spent an hour on Saturday talking through the problems w/ a rather unhelpful Dish Network Help Desk person. I honestly don't watch a lot of TV in bed so it would normally be no big deal, but I wanted to watch the new Kevin Smith show, Comic Book Men in there last night. Seeing as I couldn't do that, I recorded it & in its stead, I read a new Batman trade paperback... it's a collection of Grant Morrison comics about Bruce Wayne finding his way back to the 21st century after being hurled back in time by Darkside.

While waiting, I've spent the last hour catching up on recent episodes of The Office, How I Met Your Mother, & The Big Bang Theory instead of reading 1984 for my Science Fiction class tomorrow. I've also been battling w/ my Internet connection so as to be able to blog about the whole situation. None of this bodes well for my status as a Schwartzernegerian manly man.

Following this train of thought all the way down its nasty spiral, my real concern is that all of this is really just killing time before I see Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace in 3D this afternoon. In fact, like, the Dead Head on Freaks & Geeks (& like the trailer for the Episodes 4-6 Special Edition releases in 1998, I get to see The Phantom Menace again... for the first time! (I'd like to take a moment to appologize for the fact that I've always been been a George Lucas appologist. Some people have The Lord of the Rings, others, have Harry Potter, still others have Star Trek... I have Star Wars... deal w/ it.)

Deal w/ it? Right! Easier said than done. I'm not dealing w/ it very well @ the moment. I feel like I may need to come to terms w/ an aspect of my life that I have been keeping hidden for lo these many years. I feel that perhaps I'm not the muscle-bound jock I see myself as, but rather something else entirely. I've spent all this time, since middle school in fact, trying to convince myself that this isn't the case. I look at boobs (although I kind of giggle), I've never read a young adult book (but then again even geekdom has its limits), I watch sports (albeit, soccer), & I have what I think is a a decent sense of humor (but who can really judge ones own sense of humor?).

I fear that after all this time, it's time to admit the truth. This is my coming-out narrative so you best enjoy it. The truth is that I may be a nerd. I'd write more, but I need to check on the chickens & look into getting ducks. There's nothing nerdy there... not at all. The only saving grace is that most of you can completely relate. We're all nerds, babe, it's a wonder we can even feed ourselves.

Texas Post #4: More of the Trip Log

28 December 2011 (Continued)
2:25 Picker Stop Antiques w/ wooded ducks
3:02 On the road again
3:17 First flightless wild animal (not sure what it was)
3:27 JESUS billboard
3:29 Little Rock, AR; Occupy Little Rock; Arkansas Riv.; Weird shiny building like a vampire in the sun
4:30 Andre woke up freezing & had missed The Red River
5:25 City of Texarkana
6:15 US 82 West
7:05 Arrived on the prairie

1 January, 2012
We went to Austin & San Antonio. We recorded everything in a brand new notebook because the atlas was falling apart. We then preceded to lose the notebook & all of the notes from that day. That said, I'll sum up since I know you're all anticipating a good overview.
* We saw curious llamas (who lived w/ some ducks) & took some pictures
* We saw a shit-ton of historical markers
* We crossed a really long bridge over a lake
* We decided to take back roads all the way to Austin
* We saw many Donut Palaces
* Andre had a Pimento Cheese sandwich (Kim disapproved)
* Misidentified a fake volcano as a Woolly Mammoth
* We enjoyed the sunset while driving into it & being blinded by it
* We went to Kim & Doug's house in Hutto, TX & assumed they moved there so he could make "Jabba the Hutto" jokes
* Didn't have dinner w/ Kim & Doug @ Chuy's (not the guy from Chelsea Lately, nor Chewie who co-pilots the Millennium Falcon) but saw the nacho car & some weird Elvis stuff!
* Had dinner w/ Kim & Doug @ Mesa Rosa's
* Bid Kim & Doug a fond farewell
* Learned (contrary to Kim's claims) that there are plenty of places to stay between San Marco & san Antonio, but we didn't stay @ any of them because contrary to Kim's other claim, the drive from (Jabba the) Hutto to San Antonio wasn't very long
* We found a fantastic motel room in walking distance from The Alamo & The Riverwalk, but you already knew that because it was discussed in the post about The Alamo & The Riverwalk

Tomorrow I will post the note from the return trip to the prairie & then from the prairie to Jackson, TN this afternoon. Oh, & as it turns out, Jackson, TN is the hometown of Casey Jones!

Texas Post #3: San Antonio (& Graceland)

We left the prairie west of Texarkana around noon heading for The Alamo yesterday. After deciding to take back roads rather than the expressway, we arrived in Hutto around 6:00 to dinner w/ my cousins. A good meal & some nice catching up later, we were back on the road & hit San Antone around 10:00. We found a hotel room in walking distance to The Alamo & The Riverwalk, but the parking situation is pretty weird. We park in a fenced in lot, but there’s no gate, so the fence seems kind of pointless. It’s $5.00 a day, & we just shove 5 bucks in a little slot w/ the # of the parking space on it. I don’t quite know how it works or who collects the money, but it seems to be fine so far. (Check back tomorrow for the continuing saga of the trip log.)

After a good night’s sleep & some acceptable eggs & waffles, we headed across the street to The Alamo. Now, I need to pause here to remind you that I’ve been a Davy Crockett enthusiast since I saw the Fess Parker movie w/ my cousin when I was 3 years old. However, I was given some mixed reviews of The Alamo itself. While some people said it was cool, the general feeling was that it wasn’t worth it. The people who said that were WAY off. It is super cool. I had such a great time. If you get the chance to see it, be sure to do so. The gardens inside the walls are fantastic, the tribute to the people who gave their lives is amazing, & the gift shop has great stuff. I don’t understand why they don’t get state or federal money to operate though. I feel they must have turned it down. It’s run solely on donations & revenue from the gift shop, so I did my part by spending too much money. You should check out the pics on my facebook page too because it’s an awesome place.

Also awesome is The Riverwalk. It’s kind of strange, & a little Venicesque, but it’s cool. Lot’s of bars, restaurants, & little shops down in the river valley but hidden by all the buildings that surround it. We walked around it all afternoon, had lunch & dinner down there, & then enjoyed it @ night all lit up by millions of lights in the trees. We happened upon a few old cathedrals, all of which were oddly locked up, but that didn’t stop us from trying to get in to see the insides. We also happened upon the house of Gen. Cas (the brother-in-law of Santa Anna & the man who may be responsible for making Santa Anna so mad that he marched his men for three months from Mexico to The Alamo in order to kick Texan ass). We even found a dude playing the bagpipes, so that was goo too. Not to mention the Irish pup w/ a real live Irishman singing songs & playing piano. His playing was pretty good, but I didn’t think to request the obvious Elvis tune. Maybe because I can’t decide which one would be the obvious one for him to play. I guess “It’s Alright Mama” would be good, but maybe “A Little Less Conversation” because I really kind of dig that tune. I guess that might not be enough to make it an obvious choice for that guy, but it’s good enough for me.

We got to hear both songs the other day when we stopped @ Graceland on our way to Texas. Like The Alamo, it’s not to be missed. Unlike The Alamo, it’s campy & ridiculous. We took the tour that also allowed us to see the Elvismobile museum & his plane, The Lisa Marie. I really enjoyed the house & the plane, & I was impressed by the gold alligator roof on his Lincoln, but in general, it’s absurd. It was hard to keep a straight face while 2, count them… 2!!! Unrelated people cried @ his grave. One of them, a woman in her late 40s also prayed to the grave. I didn’t get it. I didn’t laugh @ her, but I didn’t get it.

I also didn’t get the fact that the racquetball &gym building had easier access to the bar than the racquetball court, but @ least I can sympathize w/ the thought process that went into designing it.

I also didn’t get the billiard room draped in weird ass fabric. I didn’t get it, but I kind of want to do it to a room in my house.

I also didn’t get the room w/ 3 televisions built into the wall so as to watch all 3 networks @ the same time. Apparently, he heard that Johnson or Nixon or Ford or someone watched all 3 news broadcasts @ the same time & wanted to do the same. I guess I could understand watching soccer, The Soup & Seinfeld @ the same time, so maybe I do get it after all.

I also didn’t get the year-long pass that allows people to visit Graceland as often as they want throughout a calendar year. Who in their right mind would need to go back multiple times in a year? Maybe the crying/praying lady, I suppose.

All in all, The Alamo rules & I would go that repeatedly, so to each his or her own I guess. San Antonio is a great town, but I’m sure if I lived here, I would skip the Riverwalk like Washtenaw County locals skip the art fair. Visiting here is fantastic though… Do it…& maybe check out Graceland on the way.

Every Dude Gets Pays his Dues: A Bitch of a Day in the High Court

the other day, I hinted @ an adventure earlier this week. The Fact that Cosby is coming to Nicola's tomorrow made this other adventure take a back seat. This other adventure, my day in court, needs telling though.

Here's the thing. You may remember that a couple years ago I totaled my Ford Escape. Well, when that happened, I got a ticket & also a "Driver Responsibility Fee" from the Secretary of State office. I promptly payed the ticket & replaced the car w/ a Ford Taurus that died a month ago, but was unaware of the state fee. Apparently it came in the mail. Who knew? Fast forward to last Dec. 22nd. I was pulled over for a burned out light on my licence plate @ which point the officer told me my licence had been suspended for not paying the $200.00 fee. When I said I didn't know I'd had the fine, he said that most people find out about it when they are pulled over & told by the cop. I got the light fixed, paid the fee, but w/ the holidays I forgot to take care of the actual ticket.

A couple weeks ago, I got a letter in the mail reminding me to take care of it. Sure, I thought, no problem. So last Tues. I called the court to find out how much I owed & if I could just pay over the phone. What follows is a rough recreation of the conversation (that occurred after 10 minutes on hold).

Me: "Hi, I need to take care of an old ticket."
Her: "What's your name?"

So far, so good. Nothing out of the ordinary. I explained the situation & waited for the total. Here's where things went south. After another couple minutes on hold, the conversation continued thusly (I know there are plenty of problems w/ the word "thusly," but it makes me chuckle):

Her: "There isn't a fine, there's a warrant & you need to come in & speak w/ a judge."
Me: "What to you mean, 'a warrant'?"
Her: "A warrant for your arrest. Driving on a suspended licence is a misdemeanor."
Me: "SHIT! What happens now? Can I take care of it today?"
Her: "No, there are walk-in meeting w/ the judge on Thursday [remember, this was Tues.]. When you see the judge, he or she will determine the penalty which could be up to $500.00 &/or 93 days in jail."
Me: "WHAT???"

I canceled my 11:00 class on Tues. & went to court. As it turns out, I was the only walk-in person who looked anything even resembling decent. I wore a coat & tie. Everyone else was either ready to go hunting in orange & camo, or go do a drive-by. I was admittedly shocked by their appearance. I was 3rd in line so I got to see what happened to 2 people before me. They needed to take care of old fines & set up payment plans which went smoothly so when the judge then proceeded to read me my rights, ask how I plead, & advise me to get a lawyer, I freaked out. I'd spent the previous 2 nights sleepless fearing the worst, while I was sure that they wouldn't actually lock me up for this. The reading of my rights reawakened all those fears. I plead guilty, to which she re-advised me of my rights, the possible punishment, & made sure I didn't want a trial.

What would a trial have done though? I'd clearly done what I was charged w/ doing & a lawyer would only have increased my end cost. She then swore me in & listed to my whole story. Afterwards, she (& here I'd like to interject that she was really nice, pleasant, & kind of cute) agreed that I was clearly guilty, gave me a fine of $300.00 & sent me on my way. In hind sight, it was so easy! I even told the bailiff on the way to the cashier about how scared I'd been. He said, "We try to be a user-friendly court house." It was funny, & in the end, I came out w/ 2 things. 1) a bloggable story; 2) a misdemeanor on my record. I looked through a list of misdemeanors, & it turns out, mine is about as boring as they come. Next time, maybe I'll try for indecent exposure, public drunkenness, or suspicion of mischief. Fingers crossed!

25 Random Things

1 I love tea and shortbread in the evening.
2 I only drink coffee @ diners.
3 I prefer Highland Scotch to Islay.
4 I used to be able to name every Grateful Dead song on ever album in chronological order… that’s how I would fall asleep when I was in college rather than by doing things like counting sheep. There’s no way I could do that now though. I tried recently but couldn’t get through the first album.
5 I wish we could just have Autumn and Spring… I don’t much care for Winter or Summer.
6 I’m listening to Django Reinhardt right now.
7 I dig soccer.
8 I also dig curling & rugby (& to a lesser extent, baseball), but most other sports annoy me.
9 I often start writing stories, but then get bored w/ them & never finish them. That’s why Borges claimed he didn’t write longer stuff too, so I guess I’m just like Borges.
10 I don’t drink much anymore… weird, because it was never really a conscious decision & I used to drink a lot… A LOT!
11 I don’t really watch any new TV shows, but I watch old stuff like Seinfeld, Hogan’s Heroes, Maverick, Freaks & Geeks, & The Rockford Files all the time. I guess I do watch The Soup every week, so there is that.
12 Only 6 times in my life have I read multiple books by the same author back to back: Judy Blume, Hardy Boys, Joseph Conrad, Umberto Eco, Arthur Conan Doyle, & John Fowls.
13 I dig T&A both in movies and in real life.
14 Although they were always around, I never really did a whole lot of drugs.
15 I was on the ski team & the soccer team in high school.
16 I like most genres of music but only very specific things in each genre.
17 I think people should read my blog more often because what I have to say is important & thought provoking.
18 I’m kind of scared of the future, but in a good way I think.
19 I’ve never read Harry Potter, Narnia, or Lord of the Rings & I have no desire to read them.
20 I’ve been teaching since 1998 but I still feel like an imposter sometimes.
21 I saw Blues Traveler more times than I saw the Grateful Dead… ridiculous… but it was fun.
22 I dig my white blanket w/ pink roses on it.
23 I’ve dedicated about 279 hours of my life to watching James Bond films if we’re counting Never Say Never Again and the Woody Allen/David Niven Casino Royale. About 260 if we’re not. Here's the link to my blog post where I quantified it originally... I had to adjust for the last couple years now though.
24 I should be reading Tropic of Cancer right now, but I got side-tracked.
25 I’ve been through some weird shit over the last few years.

Ohhh, Rocky

I haven't been to an EMU production since I took the kids to see Jeff Duncan's Christmas Pantomime based on Peter Pan about 5 Christmases ago. it was good, but 5 years is too long to go w/o a visit to Quirk. The only other thing we'd ever seen there was a production of Amiri Baraka's Dutchman when we were undergrads. When I was working @ WCC, we scored tix to a pretty good production of Victor/Victoria, & we saw a crap production Ghosts @ Mendleson. Of all of them, I was most excited for Ghosts, & then I was subsequently most let down by it too. I don't know why we don't go to more stuff, but whatever the reason, we don't.

That's bound to change next month though as the EMU Department of Communication & Theater Arts is presenting The Rocky Horror Show in February. I have no idea how many times we saw the film in theaters (mainly @ the state in A2, but once @ Fairlane Mall in Dearborn), but we've never seen a stage production of it. I remember the 1st time I saw it, we were @ Holly's apartment in S. Lyon in the summer of '92. A friend of mine from high school was there & we ate deep fried mushrooms... Holly suggested it was like eating fried dog balls. An odd suggestion, but it stuck.I remember being pretty freaked out when Frank entered; I had no idea what it was about & I was certainly not expecting a musical. My reaction was similar about 8 years later when I saw School Daze for the 1st time & they broke into song in that too. I don't usually go for musicals (other than The Sound of Music & Singing in the Rain), but when a good one comes along, it needs to be supported. Who's up for joining us @ Rocky?