Burns Night... Are You Ready?

So there's been some talk on Facebook about the upcoming holiday, & I think it's finally been decided. We'll host here on the 28th. It's not the actual day, but it's close enough & I have to work late on the the 25th@ Nicola's. We're gonna keep this one a bit smaller & earlier than it's been in previous years... no 50 people until 3:00AM. Sara & I have to work @ 8:30 the next morning so we're gonna call it @ around 10:30 or 11:00, but if we get started around 6:00 w/ dinner & drinks, read some poetry, have some more drinks, & then have a few more drinks, 4 or 5 hours should be fine. This post will be pulling double duty as 1) a blog post announcing the upcoming supper 2) an invite to which you can RSPV in the comments section. (Secretly, it's actually pulling triple duty by coercing y'all to actually post comments.)Pete has already volunteered Daye to bring the haggis. I'll make neeps & tatties, & I think Geo will bring colcannon. I might make some vegan cock a leekie soup too. The rest of you can bring other Scottish stuff... & some Scotch. (Please remember that Sara is GF & vegetarian so if there is an option for what you're bringing, make it happen!) Also, we'll do this sans kids.Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.

The Trip to Texas Post #1

I know you've all been waiting so patiently for the updates from the road. Well, wait no longer! I'm coming to you live from a bookstore in Paris, Texas. A store that has a wifi connection, no less. It's been a great trip so far, & if you stay ntuned, you'll soon get to read about the side trips to Graceland & The Alamo... & me shooting guns & looking @ awesome wildlife (but not shooting guns @ the awesome wildlife). Now w/o further ado, the 1st section of the trip log detailing the drive from Ypsilanti to Texas:

27 December 2011
7:26 – Hit the road: 210 on the tripometer
7:30 – route debate: settled on Toledo to get south of the snow
7:33 - Realized we’d forgotten the trip log notebook
7:35 – Stopped for ice
7:45 – On the road again w/ the Queen/Tom Petty/Randy Newman mix
7:51 – Southbound on US 23
8:10 – Lost the pen
8:13 – Found the pen & desweatered
8:33 – Maumee River
9:30 – Sara woke up but didn’t want to go to the plastic outlet store
9:39 – Got around a boat
9:55 – Stopped for Dee to take pills & wondered if our shifts ever got covered @ Nicola’s
10:00 – Broke out the cookies & starte3d following the Arsenal v Wolves match
10:10 – Learned Gervinio scored… WOOOO!!!
10:54 – Gas in Findlay, OH: $38.00/ 10 gallons; learned Wolves scored… booo
10:56 – Valdalia, OH: I 70 West
11:22 – Inexplicable traffic jam
11:30 – Sara accidently reset the tripometer (it was @ 420)
11:50 – Learned that Arsenal drew 1-1 w/ Wolves
11:51 - Indiana Stateline
11:52 – Traffic jam explained: a semi tipped over in the median; traffic jam ends; rain picks up
11:53 – Rain turns to snow
12:00 – Sara ponders pretzels
12:22 – Crossed the Big Blue River
12:41 – Starbucks mint mocha
12:57 – On the road again
1:17 – Sara talks about quiet moments w/ Bill
1:27 –Big blue colt s. of Indianapolis
1:44 – Looked up Graceland hours & prices
1:53 – Seat belt buckle battle debacle
2:27 – Crossed the Wabash River & said it was flooded & saw it was flooded & it was flooded
2:31 – Illinois state line; Central Time Zone
1:37 – Rest area
2:30 – I57 South
3:36 – Gas @ Circle K: $40.00, 12 gallons, 286.7 miles
5:00 – Adventure in Dognoggle & vicinity
5:22 – Crossed the mighty Mississip… Missouri state line
5:32 – Boomland fireworks store
6:16 – On the road again after cruisin’ the lot for license plates
7:20 – Arkansas state line
7:25 – El Acapulco Mexican Restarasunt in Blytehville, Arkansas
7:40 – Nacho confusion
8:30 – cruising Blytheville looking for a cheap motel
8:35 – Walmart confusion
8:45 – Check in @ Super 8 (rooms were way too hot & didn’t cool down very well)


28 December 2011
8:02 – On the road again
8:15 – Bad ass hawk
8:21 – Bad ass poofy owl
8:34 – Saw a weird ass decorated X-Mas tree on the side of the freeway
8:56 – Cross the old Mississippi again; entered Tennessee; entered Memphis
9:06 – Saw our first green leaves
9:10 – Got to Graceland, Graceland, Memphis, TN
12:30 – Leaving Graceland after a crappy breakfast @ the Rock n Roll Café
13:35 – 3 Near death experiences & gas @ Citgo: $2.93 per gallon/12 gallons/557 miles
12:54 – Mississippi River again; Arkansas again
1:20 – Restroom break
1:37 – Sara: “That’s a weird place to park a car.”
1:38 – Dee: “That’s a weird place to park a duck”
1:40 – Sara begins hunting hawks & we see them every ¼ mile or so
1:55 – Andre begins transcribing the log on his computer for future blogging
1:35 – Andre prepares to close the computer

Holiday Post #3: The Movies

I don't think I've ever seen It's a Wonderful Life all the way through. I considered watching it this year, but for some reason it didn't record. That reason could be that I forgot to set the DVR, but I don't think so. I'm not sure. It's on NBC tonight so Perhaps I'll have the opportunity to see it the way so many people have seen it over the last 50 years... on network television w/ commercial interruptions. The films I have actually remembered to record are thus: A Christmas Carol (George C. Scott version), White Christmas, Holiday Inn, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation & Miracle on 34th Street. Of those, A Christmas Carol & Miracle on 34th Street have yet to be watched this season. I don't know if we'll have time to get to them because I know that after tomorrow, I'll have no desire to watch them until next year. Other movies we've watched are A Christmas Story & Love Actually. It must be said that Love Actually is actually a really good film. It's got all of your usual suspects of British romantic comedies... Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Kiera Knightly, & Qui Gon Jinn.

As far as Christmas specials are concerned, we've watched Mickey's Christmas Carol, A Chipmunk's Christmas, Charlie Brown, Frosty, Rudolph, Rudolph's Shiny New Year, A Pink Panther Christmas, Santa Clause is Coming to Town, & The Flintsone's Christmas. Of course, yesterday, we had an obligatory viewing of "The Strike"... the Seinfeld Festivus episode (as if you didn't know that).

I know this post is more of a list that any sort of commentary, but before I run off for another crazy day @ Nicola's, I will say this. The Version of Holiday Inn that we watched was sans the minstrel show scene. I saw it once a couple years ago, but TMC no longer shows the movie because of that scene & AMC edits it out. It's had to watch... like Song of the South , but I think I support seeing it in its entirety. I know its offensive as hell, but it's a product of its time. We shouldn't get our Bing Crosby sanitized... let's see him in all of his black-face glory! Check back soon for the big James Bond post... all we have left to watch is the David Niven/Woody Allen Casino Royale spoof.

Holiday Post #2: The Wish List

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Every Dude Gets Pays his Dues: A Bitch of a Day in the High Court

the other day, I hinted @ an adventure earlier this week. The Fact that Cosby is coming to Nicola's tomorrow made this other adventure take a back seat. This other adventure, my day in court, needs telling though.

Here's the thing. You may remember that a couple years ago I totaled my Ford Escape. Well, when that happened, I got a ticket & also a "Driver Responsibility Fee" from the Secretary of State office. I promptly payed the ticket & replaced the car w/ a Ford Taurus that died a month ago, but was unaware of the state fee. Apparently it came in the mail. Who knew? Fast forward to last Dec. 22nd. I was pulled over for a burned out light on my licence plate @ which point the officer told me my licence had been suspended for not paying the $200.00 fee. When I said I didn't know I'd had the fine, he said that most people find out about it when they are pulled over & told by the cop. I got the light fixed, paid the fee, but w/ the holidays I forgot to take care of the actual ticket.

A couple weeks ago, I got a letter in the mail reminding me to take care of it. Sure, I thought, no problem. So last Tues. I called the court to find out how much I owed & if I could just pay over the phone. What follows is a rough recreation of the conversation (that occurred after 10 minutes on hold).

Me: "Hi, I need to take care of an old ticket."
Her: "What's your name?"

So far, so good. Nothing out of the ordinary. I explained the situation & waited for the total. Here's where things went south. After another couple minutes on hold, the conversation continued thusly (I know there are plenty of problems w/ the word "thusly," but it makes me chuckle):

Her: "There isn't a fine, there's a warrant & you need to come in & speak w/ a judge."
Me: "What to you mean, 'a warrant'?"
Her: "A warrant for your arrest. Driving on a suspended licence is a misdemeanor."
Me: "SHIT! What happens now? Can I take care of it today?"
Her: "No, there are walk-in meeting w/ the judge on Thursday [remember, this was Tues.]. When you see the judge, he or she will determine the penalty which could be up to $500.00 &/or 93 days in jail."
Me: "WHAT???"

I canceled my 11:00 class on Tues. & went to court. As it turns out, I was the only walk-in person who looked anything even resembling decent. I wore a coat & tie. Everyone else was either ready to go hunting in orange & camo, or go do a drive-by. I was admittedly shocked by their appearance. I was 3rd in line so I got to see what happened to 2 people before me. They needed to take care of old fines & set up payment plans which went smoothly so when the judge then proceeded to read me my rights, ask how I plead, & advise me to get a lawyer, I freaked out. I'd spent the previous 2 nights sleepless fearing the worst, while I was sure that they wouldn't actually lock me up for this. The reading of my rights reawakened all those fears. I plead guilty, to which she re-advised me of my rights, the possible punishment, & made sure I didn't want a trial.

What would a trial have done though? I'd clearly done what I was charged w/ doing & a lawyer would only have increased my end cost. She then swore me in & listed to my whole story. Afterwards, she (& here I'd like to interject that she was really nice, pleasant, & kind of cute) agreed that I was clearly guilty, gave me a fine of $300.00 & sent me on my way. In hind sight, it was so easy! I even told the bailiff on the way to the cashier about how scared I'd been. He said, "We try to be a user-friendly court house." It was funny, & in the end, I came out w/ 2 things. 1) a bloggable story; 2) a misdemeanor on my record. I looked through a list of misdemeanors, & it turns out, mine is about as boring as they come. Next time, maybe I'll try for indecent exposure, public drunkenness, or suspicion of mischief. Fingers crossed!

Primus & My Car

My car died a couple weeks ago. I was driving home from Nicola's around 9:30 on I-94 & the engine just cut out. I paid $100 for the car a couple years ago so when I was then told it would be $2,000 to fix it, I had 2nd thoughts. I ended up selling it to a junk yard for $150, but I've since been carless. I've got a couple leads on cheap ones though, but in the mean time, Sara has been kind enough to share hers. What that means though is that I've been a driving fool lately. Yesterday, I took the kids to school, taught 2 classes, took Sara to work, taught another class, picked the kids up & took them to Stephanie's, taught another class, then took the car to Sara @ Nicola's. Every day has been like that recently. It's been crazy, but once I got to Nicola's it started raining AWESOME.

Pete picked me up & we headed to The Michigan Theater to see Primus. I have never been very familiar w/ their stuff, but I'd always been impressed by what I'd heard. Our seats were about 12 rows from the stage & almost dead center. They were amazing. Les Claypool is a badass! A mad, freak genius. My only concern is that I hadn't seen them before. Pete asked me last week if I was up for the show, & I need to take this time to thank him again for the ticket. We got there just in time to have a couple beers before the lights went down. They played for about an hour & 20 minutes before a short break which included 3 Popeye shorts. As the credits for the last one rolled, they came back on stage & played another hour & 20 minutes. After the encore, I walked over to Ashley's to meet up w/ Sara & enjoy a plate of nachos before home to bed. I'm kind of beat today, but the concert was amazing. I can't wait to see them again... as soon as possible.


Set 1
Southbound Pachyderm
Duchess and the Proverbial Mind Spread
Frizzle Fry
Those Damned Blue-Collar Tweekers
Over The Falls
Eleven
Bob
Jerry Was A Race Car Driver
Tommy the Cat

Set 2: Green Naugahyde
Prelude to a Crawl
Hennepin Crawler
Last Salmon Man
Eternal Consumption Engine
Tragedy's a' Comin'
Eyes of the Squirrel
Jilly's on Smack
Lee Van Cleef
Moron TV
Green Ranger
HOINFODAMAN
Extinction Burst
Salmon Men
Encore:
Harold of the Rocks
Wynona's Big Brown Beaver

Does Guest + Blog Post = Jinx?

The autumn half of the MUSL season is in full swing. I served my suspension a couple weeks in a match we lost 2-0. The saving grace from that match was that the goals were scored while we were short-handed. The following week, we played even better… @ least in the second half. After going down 2-0 early, we pulled one back & had our tightest score line so far, losing 2-1. We could tell we’d been improving & that a positive result was lurking just around the next corner. Things were finally beginning to gel. We’d been connecting on more passes, playing w/ our heads up & strengthening the steel on the defense.

This then brings us to last week, the first ever Verde FC win from the run of play. We got one victory last year but only because the Brighton team played a suspended guy &, therefore, forfeited the match. As we arrived in Plymouth for our game last Sunday, there was something in the air… a feeling of confidence & excitement that had here-to-for been unknown by the Verde squad. I shifted the line-up around, & we took an early lead through new boy Joe F. He then doubled our lead before the interval. Going into the half time break w/ a 2 goal lead was amazing. In the 2nd half, even newer boy, Efrain M. headed in a corner kick putting us up 3-0. By the end, Plymouth pulled one back after a weird scramble in front of goal, but we won… 3-1.

We are taking this 1 match winning streak to Oxford today for another match we really think we can win. I’ll be meeting up w/ Cal & Eric in a little while for the trip out there… it ain’t close. And Sara will be joining us for her first ever Verde viewing… something most of you have never experienced. You all claim to be die-hard fans, so next week, for our 11:00 home match, you should don the green & get off your ass & jam. For there ain’t no party like a Verde party cuz a Verde party don’t stop!

New Semester, New Office

So the move back to Pray Harrold has gone pretty well. My mini-fridge that was once Jim's mini-fridge didn't make the transition back w/me, but everything else is here. My bookshelves & microwave that was once GB Cross's microwave showed up yesterday after a little worry. It turns out, I don't really need the shelves anyway though since there are nice ones built in now. I've also got a much bigger office than before too... in fact, it's bigger than most other people too for some reason. There's no window, but there's also no office-mate, so that's pretty sweet. W/o an office-mate, I no longer feel obligated to keep my pants on & stuff, so I've got that going for me! Although, there's no shower like in Hoyt, so the motivation to disrobe isn't quite as strong.
Here's the break down on the renovations~~
The positives:
1) Everything looks great. the little things around the building including the new new name/signs above the entrances that look like a location listings on Fringe are cool.
2) The landscaping is nice w/ big rocks on the hill going up to Porter & ivy on the building to make it look like an actual college.
3) The new phones are nice... I even have working voicemail for the first time.
4) my office is HUGE! I know I already covered this, but it's pretty freaking amazing.
5) The classrooms have good tech stuff & the holes in the floor have been fixed. In general, they look fantastic & are no longer embarrassing.
6) Everyone seems to be in a great mood about everything.

The negatives:
1) OK, the Part-Time-Lecturer-Faculty members (formerly known as the part time lecturers) have offices in another building so they aren't in the same good mood as everyone else... & rightly so.
2) I think I have poison ivy behind my left knee. it might not have anything to do w/ the renovations, but it's still a negative.
3) I now need 2 keys instead of 1 to get into my office. At least they don't need to be turned simultaneously like I'm launching a nuclear missile though. However, I was hoping the renovations would have done away w/ keys all together. My fingers were crossed for retina scanners or @ least voice activation. I wanted to be able to say, "Sex machine to all the chicks," & then hear, "Andre's voice recognition activated. You may enter." It would have been even sweeter if the voice was the same as the hot British woman whose voice comes out of the ATM on on the 1st floor. As it stands, we're stuck w/ keys.
4) Not everyone has been able to get their keys yet.
5) the blow-dryers in the restrooms are really, really loud.So there you have it. Money well spent. A sweet, sweet renovation. I think the students seem to be happy w/ it too.

3D Movies Yesterday

I know it's been a while since my last post. Sorry. I'll keep you waiting no longer. I was thinking about a post about my trip up North w/ the kids last week, but that was covered pretty well on Facebook. I was also thinking about a post about Arsenal, but that should really wait until after the close of the transfer window this evening. Therefore, we'll go w/ the 2 movies I saw yesterday. I think it was the 1st time since 1988 that I saw 2 films in theaters in a single day. Back then I was all about the Micheal Keaton/Jack Nicholson Batman. I saw it 8 times @ the canton Cinema 6 that summer.
Yesterday, I took to the kids to lunch @ Coney Joes in Brighton & then we saw Spy Kids 4D. Coney Joes is a fantastic little hod dog shack. Spy Kids 4D is an unnecessary addition to the Spy Kids franchise. But my kids liked it so that was fine... & Ricky Gervais does the voice of the robotic dog. He gets to just do his schtick throughout the movie so that was cool. Joel McHale is in it too... but there was no "Kick Ass Clip of the Day."

After work, Sara from Nicola's & I went to see the new Conan the Barbarian remake in 3D. It sucks! It makes me want to kick Marcus Nispel's ass. He could very well be the worst director alive. We got to the theater to find out we were the only ones seeing it. The screen was dark & then the lights went off as though they weren't going to show the movie. Of course, we couldn't get off that easily. I called the office to tell them we were there & waiting. The film started w/o any of the normal commercials/trailers, but it was screwed up. The 3D was all blurry so we had to go complain to get it fixed. It then became clear that Nispel 7 his cronies only used the 3D technology as an after-thought. It was used so poorly that we didn't even get any blood-splatter. Even when the guy's nose was cut off, it didn't come flying at us. That said, I could definitely see myself watching it over & over again. It's a piece of shit, but it's fun as Hell so long as you don't ask too much of it. (And asking anything at all would be too much.)