The Trip to Texas Post #1

I know you've all been waiting so patiently for the updates from the road. Well, wait no longer! I'm coming to you live from a bookstore in Paris, Texas. A store that has a wifi connection, no less. It's been a great trip so far, & if you stay ntuned, you'll soon get to read about the side trips to Graceland & The Alamo... & me shooting guns & looking @ awesome wildlife (but not shooting guns @ the awesome wildlife). Now w/o further ado, the 1st section of the trip log detailing the drive from Ypsilanti to Texas:

27 December 2011
7:26 – Hit the road: 210 on the tripometer
7:30 – route debate: settled on Toledo to get south of the snow
7:33 - Realized we’d forgotten the trip log notebook
7:35 – Stopped for ice
7:45 – On the road again w/ the Queen/Tom Petty/Randy Newman mix
7:51 – Southbound on US 23
8:10 – Lost the pen
8:13 – Found the pen & desweatered
8:33 – Maumee River
9:30 – Sara woke up but didn’t want to go to the plastic outlet store
9:39 – Got around a boat
9:55 – Stopped for Dee to take pills & wondered if our shifts ever got covered @ Nicola’s
10:00 – Broke out the cookies & starte3d following the Arsenal v Wolves match
10:10 – Learned Gervinio scored… WOOOO!!!
10:54 – Gas in Findlay, OH: $38.00/ 10 gallons; learned Wolves scored… booo
10:56 – Valdalia, OH: I 70 West
11:22 – Inexplicable traffic jam
11:30 – Sara accidently reset the tripometer (it was @ 420)
11:50 – Learned that Arsenal drew 1-1 w/ Wolves
11:51 - Indiana Stateline
11:52 – Traffic jam explained: a semi tipped over in the median; traffic jam ends; rain picks up
11:53 – Rain turns to snow
12:00 – Sara ponders pretzels
12:22 – Crossed the Big Blue River
12:41 – Starbucks mint mocha
12:57 – On the road again
1:17 – Sara talks about quiet moments w/ Bill
1:27 –Big blue colt s. of Indianapolis
1:44 – Looked up Graceland hours & prices
1:53 – Seat belt buckle battle debacle
2:27 – Crossed the Wabash River & said it was flooded & saw it was flooded & it was flooded
2:31 – Illinois state line; Central Time Zone
1:37 – Rest area
2:30 – I57 South
3:36 – Gas @ Circle K: $40.00, 12 gallons, 286.7 miles
5:00 – Adventure in Dognoggle & vicinity
5:22 – Crossed the mighty Mississip… Missouri state line
5:32 – Boomland fireworks store
6:16 – On the road again after cruisin’ the lot for license plates
7:20 – Arkansas state line
7:25 – El Acapulco Mexican Restarasunt in Blytehville, Arkansas
7:40 – Nacho confusion
8:30 – cruising Blytheville looking for a cheap motel
8:35 – Walmart confusion
8:45 – Check in @ Super 8 (rooms were way too hot & didn’t cool down very well)


28 December 2011
8:02 – On the road again
8:15 – Bad ass hawk
8:21 – Bad ass poofy owl
8:34 – Saw a weird ass decorated X-Mas tree on the side of the freeway
8:56 – Cross the old Mississippi again; entered Tennessee; entered Memphis
9:06 – Saw our first green leaves
9:10 – Got to Graceland, Graceland, Memphis, TN
12:30 – Leaving Graceland after a crappy breakfast @ the Rock n Roll Café
13:35 – 3 Near death experiences & gas @ Citgo: $2.93 per gallon/12 gallons/557 miles
12:54 – Mississippi River again; Arkansas again
1:20 – Restroom break
1:37 – Sara: “That’s a weird place to park a car.”
1:38 – Dee: “That’s a weird place to park a duck”
1:40 – Sara begins hunting hawks & we see them every ¼ mile or so
1:55 – Andre begins transcribing the log on his computer for future blogging
1:35 – Andre prepares to close the computer

Holiday Post #3: The Movies

I don't think I've ever seen It's a Wonderful Life all the way through. I considered watching it this year, but for some reason it didn't record. That reason could be that I forgot to set the DVR, but I don't think so. I'm not sure. It's on NBC tonight so Perhaps I'll have the opportunity to see it the way so many people have seen it over the last 50 years... on network television w/ commercial interruptions. The films I have actually remembered to record are thus: A Christmas Carol (George C. Scott version), White Christmas, Holiday Inn, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation & Miracle on 34th Street. Of those, A Christmas Carol & Miracle on 34th Street have yet to be watched this season. I don't know if we'll have time to get to them because I know that after tomorrow, I'll have no desire to watch them until next year. Other movies we've watched are A Christmas Story & Love Actually. It must be said that Love Actually is actually a really good film. It's got all of your usual suspects of British romantic comedies... Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Kiera Knightly, & Qui Gon Jinn.

As far as Christmas specials are concerned, we've watched Mickey's Christmas Carol, A Chipmunk's Christmas, Charlie Brown, Frosty, Rudolph, Rudolph's Shiny New Year, A Pink Panther Christmas, Santa Clause is Coming to Town, & The Flintsone's Christmas. Of course, yesterday, we had an obligatory viewing of "The Strike"... the Seinfeld Festivus episode (as if you didn't know that).

I know this post is more of a list that any sort of commentary, but before I run off for another crazy day @ Nicola's, I will say this. The Version of Holiday Inn that we watched was sans the minstrel show scene. I saw it once a couple years ago, but TMC no longer shows the movie because of that scene & AMC edits it out. It's had to watch... like Song of the South , but I think I support seeing it in its entirety. I know its offensive as hell, but it's a product of its time. We shouldn't get our Bing Crosby sanitized... let's see him in all of his black-face glory! Check back soon for the big James Bond post... all we have left to watch is the David Niven/Woody Allen Casino Royale spoof.

Holiday Post #2: The Wish List

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Holiday Post #1: The Songs

There's a little tradition here @ Drifting into Deep Water that actually predates Drifting into Deep Water by about a couple years. We started composing Holiday themed songs in 2008 w/ "All I Want for Christmas is Cash." In 2009, there was "Have a Swinging Christmas Time." Then last year we composed, begging your indulgences, a 2nd "all I want" song: "All I Want for Christmas is a Shotgun."

Before we get to this year's installment, I thought I'd give you a list of our Top 5 Kitschy Christmas Songs of All Time!!! It's these songs that influenced the writing of my songs the most. Enjoy... & then enjoy this year's song.... & then remember er to keep the nominations coming for your
#5: "Chewbacca's Silent Night"
#4: "Christmas in Hollis"
#3: "Holly Jolly Christmas"
#2: "Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey
#1: "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"

Now, w/o further ado, your 2011 Drifting into Deep Water Christmas song:

"Larry the Christmas Llama"

There's a village on on mountain top
In the Andes of Peru
Where they celebrate the holidays
Just like me and you
But the cliffs are steep upon those peaks
And the wind is oh so chill
So Santa found some local help
To guide him o're the hills

He's Larry the Christmas Llama
He helps to lead the way
He's Larry the Christmas Llama
Guiding Santa's sleigh

You know the eight reindeer
And you know all their names
And the ninth w/ his shiny nose
Shunned from all of their games
But they all join together
And I'll tell you why
To pick on poor Larry
Cuz Larry can't fly

He's Larry the Christmas Llama
He helps to lead the way
He's Larry the Christmas Llama
Guiding Santa's sleigh

Now the hills are steep and rocky
And the snow is blowing cold
So it takes a healthy llama
To lead a team so bold
The first time on those high peaks
The other nine did see
That they should quit their hi jinks
And let young Larry be

He's Larry the Christmas Llama
He helps to lead the way
He's Larry the Christmas Llama
Guiding Santa's sleigh

He's Larry the Christmas Llama
He helps to lead the way
He's Larry the Christmas Llama
He makes the season gay!

Euro 2012 Group Draw & Reaction

Group A: Poland, Greece, Russia, Czech Republic
Group B: Spain, Italy, Rep. of Ireland, Croatia
Group C: Netherlands, Germany, Denmark, Portugal
Group D: Ukraine, Sweden, France, England

Quarter Finals:
Game 25 A1 v B2
Game 26 A2 v B1
Game 27 C1 v D2
Game 28 D1 v C2

Semi Finals:
Winner 25 v Winner 27
Winner 26 v Winner 28

Here are my thoughts... since you've waited so patiently for them over the last 48 hours. I apologize for the wait; I know you've been on the edge of your seat wondering how I feel about these groups.

Group A is a tough one to call. Poland could do pretty well w/ their fantastic goalie & the fact that they are one of the host nations. Home town crowds will obviously help a bit. However, Russia will probably go through too. Aside from the home country situation, I think Poland, Greece & the Czechs are all pretty good. I guess I would like to see Tomas Rosicky ;lead the Czech Republic through the quarter finals, but it will be a rough group of mid-level teams. In the end, it won't really matter, because I don't see any of these teams getting past the quarter-finals. We'll say Russia (1) & Poland (2)

Group B is less tricky, I would say, & I'm sure most people would predict Spain & Italy moving on. I suppose, I will too, but it'd be nice to see the Irish get past the Italians. I wouldn't put money on it though. Spain (1) & Italy (2)

Group C will certainly be called "The group of death" by pundits (if it hasn't been called that already). I would say it's more likely to be the group of tears though as we're almost certain to see Cristiano Ronaldo squirt out a few when Portugal fails to edge past Germany & The Netherlands. In fact, I would be willing to put money on them getting gout of the group stage... if I had money to bet & was a betting man. Germany (1) & Netherlands (2).

Group D shouldn't be much of a problem for France & England, but then again, one never really knows what those two under performing squads will do. While the Ukraine is the other co-host, I don't see them getting out of the group like Poland. Based on sheer talent, I will go against the British talking heads (& Arsene Wenger) & say France will win the group w/ England taking 2nd. (They seem to see it happening the other way).

If this is what happens (& it's sure not to now that I've actually posted this), we'll see the quarter finals thusly:
QF1: Russia v Italy
QF2: Poland v Spain
QF3: Germany v England
QF4: Netherlands v France

The semi finals are obviously tougher to call, & in the past, I think I've stopped here for propriety's sake; however, for fun, I suppose I'll go all the way now.

SF1: Italy v Germany
SF2: Spain v France (if France takes a shit in the group stage, I would see The Netherlands getting past either The Ukraine or Sweden).

As far as the finals are concerned, the odds makers seems to believe that Spain will win it all again, but no country has ever repeated. This means, we're either going to see a little history, or we aren't. Shocking revelation, I know. I'm going to go w/ history but ignore my fanatical devotion to the FFF & say Germany will beat Spain in the finals.

I was going to get into my beliefs about the French squad for the tournament, but I'll hold off on that for another post. Keep checking back though... it will be pretty soon. We've got a James Bond post & a couple holiday season posts coming up soon, & we'll start the nominating process for your 2012 Visions of Ypsi Memorial Celebrity MILF of the Year contest now too. in order to be eligible, the person must meet a couple criteria... she must be a celebrity & she must be pregnant now or had a baby in the last 5 month so as to ensure she wasn't eligible w/ the same pregnancy last year. Post your nominations here in the comments section or e-mail them to me.
Here is a link to all of last year's contest posts, & @ the bottom, you'll find a link to the posts on the old blog too.

Thanksgiving Post (part 4)

The trip was fantastic. We had such a good time. Solstice really seemed to enjoy the time spent w/ Jean & Tiffany which makes me happy because I was afraid she was bored. As far as the drive home is concerned, along w/ the licence plated already listed, we saw the following: Illinois, Alaska, Louisiana, Colorado, Arizona, Kansas, Missouri, Minnesota, & Nebraska. All in all, 33 states & 1 province. The music on the way back consisted of a nice collection of rock, country, & classical:
Friday -
Allman Brothers: Fillmore Concerts
Grateful Dead: Reckoning
Rachmaninoff (2 times)
Beatles: One
Violent Femmes
Saturday-
Car Talk
Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Ryan Adams: Ashes & Fire (2 times)
Ryan Adams: Heartbreaker (2 times)
Ryan Adams: Jacksonville City Nights (2 times)
Whitey Morgan & the 78s (2 times)
Phish: Billy Breathes (2 times)

And now for the final installment of the ship's log... enjoy!
10:18 - Depart from Doolin Inn after breakfast
10:26 - Turn on Bond St.
10:30 - Bought cheese @ Kroger's
10:42 - Burger King fries
10:57 - Questioned the news that the new Mars Rover will only talk 8 1/2 months to get to Mars
11:12 - Cheated death*
11:23 - passed the BP from which we got direction the night before... it's called Ron's Market
11:45 - Arch rock adventure on the side of the road**
11:53 - Cumberland Falls State Park
12:05 - Saw a slew of snails
1:30 - On the road again
1:50 - Barn photos 3 & 4
2:20 - Busted out pie
2:44 - City of Berea
2:46 - Bond St.
3:10 - Barn photos 5&6
3:13 - Fort Boonesboro
4:18 - Back on the road
4:20 - Saw a sweet waterfall***
4:30 - Marveled @ stone fences like the stacked ones in Ireland
4:35 - Barn photo 7
5:20 - Killed the cheese
5:25 - Offroading through a Kentucky field to get a sunset photo
5:49 - Realized that the "Franklin Y'all" water tower is actually the "Florence Y'all" water tower.
6:00 - Ohio
6:36 - 1st sighting of gas under $3:00#
7:15 - Gas @ a BP station. #.02 per gallon, $37.00, 1456.8 Miles
8:05 - City of Wapakoneta: Dinner @ Waffle House
8:20 - Toast allergy confusion##
8:50 - Neil Armstrong Museum%
9:50 - On the road again
10:25 - Michigan
11:09 - Home%%


*Turning off if US 27, Sara: "Oh My God, we're gonna die!!!" She almost missed the turn & then may have overreacted a tad.
** We pulled off into a fire station parking lot to see the arch & a huge dog came out of the woods. There was a lot of noise which suggested another huge dog, but it was actually a tiny lap dog. They were funny friends.
*** After turning around on Redneck Blvd.
# In Franklin (not Florence), OH
## Sara had to explain to the server that she isn't actually alergic to toast, but rather to the gluten
% It was closed but we saw stuff outside. Got a picture of me by the Moon thing, but only later realized that a picture of me mooning it would have been awesome
%% Neighbor's Xmas tree confirmation after the little melei that occured a couple weeks ago

Thanksgiving Post (part 3)

Once it became clear that we'd be traveling to Georgia to see Jean & Tiffany, the jump from that to road-tripping through the Smokys to visit Davy Crockett's Birthplace State park became obvious. He was a childhood hero of mine & since then I've always been interested in him. We planned to drive straight north from Jean's, see that, then head up to Kentucky for the night. As it turns out, we got side-tracked by all sorts of other roadside attractions & couldn't make it to the State Park. We also had to nix the drive up US 25W through the 2 mile tunnel that crosses the TN/KY state line @ the Cumberland Gap. It all turned out well though. Here's the log:

8:57 - Departure from Covington, GA*
9:06 - Saw a cop car in an accident w/ a semi
9:13 - passed Booger's Hill Rd
9:15 - Stopped for a photo of a dilapidated old barn for a possible coffee table book of dilapidated old barns. On Rt 81 just before Walnut Grove.
9:15 - Passed McNutts Creek Rd
9:50 - City of Athens**
9:51 - Saw a police escort for some kid carrying a football
10:23 - Gas in Athens: 817.9 miles, $30.00, $3.29 per gallon
10:31 - Unintended adventure via wrong turn (or lack of right turn)
10:39 - Found US 441N after some trial & error
10:50 - Georgia's largest flea market. No one was there. Big let down.***
11:04 - Busted out pie
11:22 - Stopped for 2nd dilapidated barn photo
11:53 - Entering Chattahoochee National Forest
12:00 - Tallulah Point Overlook & hilarious gift shop. We sampled boiled peanuts... gross!
12:40 - Passed huge sign reading "GOATS!"#
12:56 - North Carolina State Line
1:15 - Smoky Mountain Visitors' Center
1:30 - Scottish Tartan Museum in Franklin, NC##
2:35 - city of Cherokee
2:52 - Smoky Mountain National Park
4:07 - Tennessee State Line
4:52 - Hit 1,000 miles (Between Gatlinburg & Pigeon Forge)
6:23 - Didn't find a Mexican restaurant
6:45 - Found a Mexican restaurant. Lake City "La Fiesta" exit 129
7:31 - Drove over weird white tarp thing on I75. No damage to the car.###
7:54 - Kentucky State Line
8:05 - Gas in Williamsburg, KY. $3.19 per gallon, $35.00, 1110.3 miles
8:22 - Welcome to Kentucky sign... again???
8:28 - on Rt 90 West towards Cumberland Falls State Park
8:29 - Daniel Boone National Forest
8:53 - Stopped for directions^
9:07 - Mystery animal crossing the road... possible jackalope sighting!
9:20 - City of Somerset
9:30 - Doolin House Inn B&B

* "Smells like Georgia outside"
** A nice looking town, but it lacked a certain musical flair one would expect in the home of REM & Widespread Panic
*** perhaps they were eating leftovers
# "Oh, there's weird shit going on there!"
## Bought a scarf but not Haggis flavored potato chips.
### It may in fact have had something weirder like an animal under it
^ Andre: "This road is really windy & narrow in the dark."
BP Attendant: "Yeah"
Andre: "How far to US 27?
Attendant: "7 miles"
Andre: "Thanks"
Attendant: "Bless your heart"

Thanksgiving Post (part 2)

The holiday went swimmingly. We had a great time; we sat around & did next to nothing all day. I got to kick a ball around for a while w/ Jeanothan for the 1st time in a couple years. We watched WKRP & the Lions game. Good times indeed. And most importantly, after my shower, while wearing my bathrobe, Dan & Elizabeth simultaneously pointed out that I look like Rocky (Cousin Eddie's son in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation). Now, in keeping w/ my archive fever, here's a series of lists referring to get us all up to date.

The Food:Turkey
Mashed potatoes
Sweet potatoes
Corn casserole
Green been casserole
rolls
Cranberries w/ almonds
Cranberry sauce
Cherry Pie
Pecan Pie
Turkey gravy
Mushroom gravy
Portabellas
Wine
Beer

The Music in the car:
Fun Country Mix (skips)
Alt Country Mix
Mother McRee's Uptown Jug Champions
Bob Dylan: Christmas in the Heart
Grateful Dead: American Beauty
Beatles: Abbey Road
Tony Rice: Manzanita
Flying Burrito Brothers: Close Encounters from the West Coast
Miles Davis: Live Evil
Bela Fleck: Perpetual Motion
Glenn Miller: Chattanooga Choo Choo

The Licence Plates:
Michigan
Ohio
Kentucky
Tennessee
Georgia
Florida
Massachusetts
Maine
Indiana
North Carolina
West Virginia
Virginia
California
New York
Pennsylvania
Connecticut
Texas
Mississippi
South Carolina
Oklahoma
Wisconsin
Alabama
New Jersey
Utah

Thanksgiving Post (part 1)

Here's the 1st day's worth of the trip log. We got a small notebook & kept detailed notes of the drive. Enjoy!
6:45 - Leaving Boggs ($3.29 per gallon)*
7:30 - Crossing the Ohio state line
8:40 - McDonalds drive through for breakfast. Sara's eggs were nasty & they screwed up Solstice's coffee.**
10:15 - McDonalds bathroom break*
11:00 - Kentucky state line
11:20 - Franklin, KY water tower: "Franklin Y'all"
12:00 - Lexington, KY Marathon station. 327 miles, $3.25 per gallon*** Sara Takes over driving***
12:30 - crossed the Kentucky River
12:38 - First sighting of a tree that still had leaves on it
12:45 - Mullet confusion
1:35 - looking for a death-defying tunnel. Found the Col. Sander's Cafe & Museum. It has a certain je ne sais quoi
1:55 - Back on I75 via US 25 W
2:15 - got water @ a Shell station on US 25 W
2:29 - Tennessee state line
3:00 - Museum of Appalachia (w/ continuous complaints from Solstice)#
4:00 - Back on I75
4:15 - Constructed chronological list of CDs to which we'd been listening
4:20 - Traffic jam in Knoxville
4:30 - Started eating a block of cheese sans crackers
4:40 - Saw our 1st Georgia licence plate
4:43 - Put away the cheese in order to construct a list of the licence plates we'd seen
5:21 - Traffic jam over
5:29 - Tennessee River in the sunset... beautiful
5:57 - Gas & Dinner @ a BP Station. 20 bucks in the tank. 559.9 miles; $3.19 per gallon. Andre takes over driving again. {{Sara's notes start here}} ("Dinner" seems questionable - "Junk food" is more specific)
6:34 - Chattanooga (w/ scenic overlook we suspect it actually looks nicer after dark w/ the lights of the city & w/o the industrial crap##)
6:46 - Georgia state line
7:27 - Decided against stopping @ Popcorn Haven^
7:33 - Saw sign for peach pie & composed a tongue twister^^
7:45 - Stop @ BP station. Failed experiment w/ a "Dickie's Pecan Roll" (claims of divinity were decidedly exaggerated)
8:25 - Atlanta
9:09 - City of Covington!
9:10 - Discovered Mater juice box under the seat while looking for the pen
9:21 - The Arrival!


* Forgot to get ice
** Conversation @ McDonalds:
Me: "These eggs are undercooked & nasty."
Cashier: "OK. Well remake them & make sure they are well done."
Me: "Just done would be fine. You don't need to go from 1 extreem to another."
*** got ice (& a pen)
# W/ lots of peacocks & chickens
## We apologize for the vulgar language here.
^ 2 nays w/ 1 abstaining
^^ Impecably prepared peaches placed precisely in a perfect peach pie

Every Dude Gets Pays his Dues: A Bitch of a Day in the High Court

the other day, I hinted @ an adventure earlier this week. The Fact that Cosby is coming to Nicola's tomorrow made this other adventure take a back seat. This other adventure, my day in court, needs telling though.

Here's the thing. You may remember that a couple years ago I totaled my Ford Escape. Well, when that happened, I got a ticket & also a "Driver Responsibility Fee" from the Secretary of State office. I promptly payed the ticket & replaced the car w/ a Ford Taurus that died a month ago, but was unaware of the state fee. Apparently it came in the mail. Who knew? Fast forward to last Dec. 22nd. I was pulled over for a burned out light on my licence plate @ which point the officer told me my licence had been suspended for not paying the $200.00 fee. When I said I didn't know I'd had the fine, he said that most people find out about it when they are pulled over & told by the cop. I got the light fixed, paid the fee, but w/ the holidays I forgot to take care of the actual ticket.

A couple weeks ago, I got a letter in the mail reminding me to take care of it. Sure, I thought, no problem. So last Tues. I called the court to find out how much I owed & if I could just pay over the phone. What follows is a rough recreation of the conversation (that occurred after 10 minutes on hold).

Me: "Hi, I need to take care of an old ticket."
Her: "What's your name?"

So far, so good. Nothing out of the ordinary. I explained the situation & waited for the total. Here's where things went south. After another couple minutes on hold, the conversation continued thusly (I know there are plenty of problems w/ the word "thusly," but it makes me chuckle):

Her: "There isn't a fine, there's a warrant & you need to come in & speak w/ a judge."
Me: "What to you mean, 'a warrant'?"
Her: "A warrant for your arrest. Driving on a suspended licence is a misdemeanor."
Me: "SHIT! What happens now? Can I take care of it today?"
Her: "No, there are walk-in meeting w/ the judge on Thursday [remember, this was Tues.]. When you see the judge, he or she will determine the penalty which could be up to $500.00 &/or 93 days in jail."
Me: "WHAT???"

I canceled my 11:00 class on Tues. & went to court. As it turns out, I was the only walk-in person who looked anything even resembling decent. I wore a coat & tie. Everyone else was either ready to go hunting in orange & camo, or go do a drive-by. I was admittedly shocked by their appearance. I was 3rd in line so I got to see what happened to 2 people before me. They needed to take care of old fines & set up payment plans which went smoothly so when the judge then proceeded to read me my rights, ask how I plead, & advise me to get a lawyer, I freaked out. I'd spent the previous 2 nights sleepless fearing the worst, while I was sure that they wouldn't actually lock me up for this. The reading of my rights reawakened all those fears. I plead guilty, to which she re-advised me of my rights, the possible punishment, & made sure I didn't want a trial.

What would a trial have done though? I'd clearly done what I was charged w/ doing & a lawyer would only have increased my end cost. She then swore me in & listed to my whole story. Afterwards, she (& here I'd like to interject that she was really nice, pleasant, & kind of cute) agreed that I was clearly guilty, gave me a fine of $300.00 & sent me on my way. In hind sight, it was so easy! I even told the bailiff on the way to the cashier about how scared I'd been. He said, "We try to be a user-friendly court house." It was funny, & in the end, I came out w/ 2 things. 1) a bloggable story; 2) a misdemeanor on my record. I looked through a list of misdemeanors, & it turns out, mine is about as boring as they come. Next time, maybe I'll try for indecent exposure, public drunkenness, or suspicion of mischief. Fingers crossed!

Bill Cosby @ Nicola's Part 1: Na Na Na We're Gonna Have a Good Time

I had a bit of an adventure the other day, but that 1 will have to wait until tomorrow as I have 2 more coming up early this week before a 3rd on Wed. On Monday, I have a dentist appointment which wouldn't normally count as an adventure, but w/ this sweet sweet clip, it seems an appropriate inclusion on this post. What do I have to get done? I need to get a broken tooth fixed which could end in a root canal. I hope to avoid that, but regardless, the real awesome is to come Tues. evening as we have American pop-culture legend Bill Cosby coming to Nicola's for a signing @ 7:00. His people called the store to set up an event in Detroit but then called back & said he would be in the store instead. I'm sooo freaking excited! If you plan to come, you should know that he'll only be signing his new book (so leave your Pudding Pops box & Betamax copy of Uptown Saturday Night @ home), he won't be reading, & he won't be posing for pics w/ people. I imagine it'll be huge, but you can get a line ticket number in advance. I would think that if you have a number, you needn't get there until 6:30 or so. I saw him on Letterman a couple weeks ago, & he was still fantastic. I'll have to hit Value World & see if I can score a nice cozy Cosby sweater for the evening. Here are a few videos, the first of which is from his concert, Bill Cosby: Himself, in which he discusses dentists.Dad is Great!

Is the Hiatus Over?

I know it's been quite a while since I last posted. What w/ the weather and all... plus I've been busy w/ work & the kids. Besides, the readership has been on the decline so it lost it's priority status. That's ok though because we're back, baby! Drifting into Deep Water is in full effect! (Just like Public Enemy.) It seems like the way to kick things off after a month long hiatus would be w/ a proper soccer post. However, in lieu of a proper one, here's a mediocre one for you to enjoy.

First up: In over the hill, drug addled, former Newcastle & England international star news, our favorite nut sack pain faced over the hill, drug addled, former Newcastle & England star, Paul Gascoinge (known to those in the media but probably not actually to his friends as Gazza) has recently admitted he spent 4 months eschewing food & water for a preferred diet of cocaine & whiskey. Now, I've had my fair share of whiskey over the years (though I've never done coke), but 4 months seems a tad extreme. Maybe I'm just a prude, but 4 months? Really? He claims that he needed it to fill the void lest in his life after he retired from football. if that's the case, I guess I better play until the day I die. I suppose the other response could be "4 months? Come on... man up! Ozzy could do 4 months of coke & booze standing on his head!" but that doesn't really seem responsible does it?
in his Newcastle kit, demostrating his "nut sack pain face"Second up: Donnie's favorite metrosexual former ManUre star turned current Real Madrid star, Cristiano Ronaldo, missed a sitter this week in the Portugal Euro 2012 qualifying play-off against Bosnia & Hertzogoviniad%jkfhla#kjfaja (sp?). In the end, it didn't really matter as Portugal qualified anyway, but he was embarrassed & ended up blaming the bumpy turf, claiming, "That wasn't grass, it was a vegetable patch." I guess he now knows what it's like to play @ Independence Park in Canton week in & week out. To be fair, I already know what's it's like to miss easy goals. The reason this is news though, isn't simply that he missed a goal... even I do that sometimes... the real issue here is that the patch of turf he blamed has sold at auction for 4,000 GBP. I thought this was a joke when I first read about it, but it seems to have made all the papers (or @ least all the ones that cover football minutia which in turn means "all the good papers").

I think this is all I've got for today. Oh, France beat USA on Firday 1-0 & then drew w/ Belgium 0-0 yesterday, but now we can get back to the SOP of the league stuff this week. After the loss to France, Team USA went on to beat Slovenia 3-2 in Ljubljana%hjkh#jkh (sp?). That said, we may now be back to our SOP on this blog as well. I'm not making any promises, but we'll see.

PS I know I've said this before, but let's leave comments in the comments section rather than on Facebook... it keeps the comments w/ the post for archiving purposes, & I have archive fever!

Primus & My Car

My car died a couple weeks ago. I was driving home from Nicola's around 9:30 on I-94 & the engine just cut out. I paid $100 for the car a couple years ago so when I was then told it would be $2,000 to fix it, I had 2nd thoughts. I ended up selling it to a junk yard for $150, but I've since been carless. I've got a couple leads on cheap ones though, but in the mean time, Sara has been kind enough to share hers. What that means though is that I've been a driving fool lately. Yesterday, I took the kids to school, taught 2 classes, took Sara to work, taught another class, picked the kids up & took them to Stephanie's, taught another class, then took the car to Sara @ Nicola's. Every day has been like that recently. It's been crazy, but once I got to Nicola's it started raining AWESOME.

Pete picked me up & we headed to The Michigan Theater to see Primus. I have never been very familiar w/ their stuff, but I'd always been impressed by what I'd heard. Our seats were about 12 rows from the stage & almost dead center. They were amazing. Les Claypool is a badass! A mad, freak genius. My only concern is that I hadn't seen them before. Pete asked me last week if I was up for the show, & I need to take this time to thank him again for the ticket. We got there just in time to have a couple beers before the lights went down. They played for about an hour & 20 minutes before a short break which included 3 Popeye shorts. As the credits for the last one rolled, they came back on stage & played another hour & 20 minutes. After the encore, I walked over to Ashley's to meet up w/ Sara & enjoy a plate of nachos before home to bed. I'm kind of beat today, but the concert was amazing. I can't wait to see them again... as soon as possible.


Set 1
Southbound Pachyderm
Duchess and the Proverbial Mind Spread
Frizzle Fry
Those Damned Blue-Collar Tweekers
Over The Falls
Eleven
Bob
Jerry Was A Race Car Driver
Tommy the Cat

Set 2: Green Naugahyde
Prelude to a Crawl
Hennepin Crawler
Last Salmon Man
Eternal Consumption Engine
Tragedy's a' Comin'
Eyes of the Squirrel
Jilly's on Smack
Lee Van Cleef
Moron TV
Green Ranger
HOINFODAMAN
Extinction Burst
Salmon Men
Encore:
Harold of the Rocks
Wynona's Big Brown Beaver

Holy Sonnet 1138

As you know, I should be teaching a Sc/Fi course in the winter. I was talking about it w/ some students who asked what we'd be covering. To that, I rattled off a list of novels, but I couldn't come up w/ many Sci/Fi poems (other than Rush/Bowie/Floyd lyrics). One of the students then said that her high school English teacher had written a bunch of cheesy Sci/Fi poems that he read to her class. I was thus inspired to go one better than this rumored neo-Horalax. With that in mind, I created my first Star Wars inspired sonnet. Enjoy... and feel free to post your own in the comments section.

Comparing thee to suns of Tatooine
Thou art more lovely and more singular
Rough winds and sand doth make the Tusken mean
And little Jawas talk peculiar
Sometimes the Sarlacc on the native dines
And often its digestive tract is filled
And every moisture farm sometimes declines
And Hutt or Kryatt Dragons’ victims killed.
But thy eternal twins shall never dim
The dreaded Death Star shalln’t destroy your home.
Forever with the Dac-born Quarren swim
Forever under R2's blueish dome.

So long as Jedi live and droids can see
So lives the Force and that give life to thee.

R&R HoF

The list of the 2012 Rock n Roll Hall of fame nominees was released yesterday. I imagine most of you have already seen it, but since I didn't have time to post anything yesterday, I'm commenting right now. First off, I know many if you probably think the Hall is ridiculous, & pretty anti-Rock n Roll, but I've always been interested in it. I guess it's just my constant need for nostalgic crap. Whatever the reason, here's the list of nominees:
Beastie Boys
The Cure
Donovan
Eric B. & Rakim
Guns 'N Roses
Heart
Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
Freddie King
Laura Nyro
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Rufus with Chaka Khan
The Small Faces/The Faces
The Spinners
Donna Summer
War
In previous years, they've inducted 5-7 acts per year. I would imagine it'll be the same this year, which means Rufus w/ Chaka Khan will be out of luck. As will Donna Summer I would guess. I bet The Beastie Boys will get in before Eric B & Rakim; they're more famous after all. But for my money (which is negligible lately), I'd go w/ Rakim every day of the week. His influence on hip hop has been huge, & while the beasties have obviously sold more records, Eric B & Rakim are the better group... & there's no way the HoF will induct 2 hip hop groups the same year.

Of course, The Faces & War should go in... a nice argument could be made that they should be in already. Donovan will probably get in this year too... & Freddie King. As a way to ensure enough Motown representation, The Spinners will go in too, which leaves room for 1 more act... I would think it will be Heart, but GnR or the Chili Peppers could edge them out. I think I would prefer to see Guns n Roses make it, but Heart has been around a lot longer & have some sort of Seattle street cred... even though they kind of suck. I could also see Laura Nyro sneak in since she'd been nominated before, but I don't know who she is. Maybe I should, she can't be worse than Heart. I also don't see Joan Jett of The Cure making it yet... but some day, I'm sure.

Does Guest + Blog Post = Jinx?

The autumn half of the MUSL season is in full swing. I served my suspension a couple weeks in a match we lost 2-0. The saving grace from that match was that the goals were scored while we were short-handed. The following week, we played even better… @ least in the second half. After going down 2-0 early, we pulled one back & had our tightest score line so far, losing 2-1. We could tell we’d been improving & that a positive result was lurking just around the next corner. Things were finally beginning to gel. We’d been connecting on more passes, playing w/ our heads up & strengthening the steel on the defense.

This then brings us to last week, the first ever Verde FC win from the run of play. We got one victory last year but only because the Brighton team played a suspended guy &, therefore, forfeited the match. As we arrived in Plymouth for our game last Sunday, there was something in the air… a feeling of confidence & excitement that had here-to-for been unknown by the Verde squad. I shifted the line-up around, & we took an early lead through new boy Joe F. He then doubled our lead before the interval. Going into the half time break w/ a 2 goal lead was amazing. In the 2nd half, even newer boy, Efrain M. headed in a corner kick putting us up 3-0. By the end, Plymouth pulled one back after a weird scramble in front of goal, but we won… 3-1.

We are taking this 1 match winning streak to Oxford today for another match we really think we can win. I’ll be meeting up w/ Cal & Eric in a little while for the trip out there… it ain’t close. And Sara will be joining us for her first ever Verde viewing… something most of you have never experienced. You all claim to be die-hard fans, so next week, for our 11:00 home match, you should don the green & get off your ass & jam. For there ain’t no party like a Verde party cuz a Verde party don’t stop!

Wiki Tag

Here's a fun little game I just invented (I know, I'm so prolific). It's kind of like the 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon game, but it's kind of different too. Now, I know I haven't been blogging much lately, but then again, I'm not really certain people have actually notice anyway. I am thinking about a couple bigger posts that will be coming soon (1 about Sartre & blogging, 1 about soccer, 1 about Whitman, & 1 things that have been going on lately). In the mean time, here's a little thing about my Wiki game.

It goes like this:
Go to the page about the band that performed the last song you heard & see how quickly you can follow the links to get to a page about the last movie you watched. In my case, the last song I heard was "Sultans of Swing" by Dire Straits & the movie I'm watching now is A Huey P. Newton Story. From Dire Straits I then went to Bob Dylan. From Dylan, I then went to the page for The March on Washington for Jobs & Freedom. From there, I then went to the page about Malcolm X. Getting to Huey P. Newton from Malcolm X seemed like an easy move since, according to Bobby Seale, they founded The Black Panther Party for Self Defense as a reaction to Malcolm X's assassination. However, the closest I could get from Malcolm X was the page about Black Power which easily went to the page about The Black Panther Party. Of course, getting to the page about Huey P. Newton from there was easy & then the page about the film was simple too.

I must have been aware of the film's existence because I know I've looked @ Spike Lee filmographies over the last 10 years, but when it was on the other day & I set the DVR to record it, I didn't remember having heard of it. As it so happens, the film came out in 2001 & was directed by Spike Lee. It's fantastic. Check it out... & enjoy a nice game of Wiki Tag.

25 Random Things

1 I love tea and shortbread in the evening.
2 I only drink coffee @ diners.
3 I prefer Highland Scotch to Islay.
4 I used to be able to name every Grateful Dead song on ever album in chronological order… that’s how I would fall asleep when I was in college rather than by doing things like counting sheep. There’s no way I could do that now though. I tried recently but couldn’t get through the first album.
5 I wish we could just have Autumn and Spring… I don’t much care for Winter or Summer.
6 I’m listening to Django Reinhardt right now.
7 I dig soccer.
8 I also dig curling & rugby (& to a lesser extent, baseball), but most other sports annoy me.
9 I often start writing stories, but then get bored w/ them & never finish them. That’s why Borges claimed he didn’t write longer stuff too, so I guess I’m just like Borges.
10 I don’t drink much anymore… weird, because it was never really a conscious decision & I used to drink a lot… A LOT!
11 I don’t really watch any new TV shows, but I watch old stuff like Seinfeld, Hogan’s Heroes, Maverick, Freaks & Geeks, & The Rockford Files all the time. I guess I do watch The Soup every week, so there is that.
12 Only 6 times in my life have I read multiple books by the same author back to back: Judy Blume, Hardy Boys, Joseph Conrad, Umberto Eco, Arthur Conan Doyle, & John Fowls.
13 I dig T&A both in movies and in real life.
14 Although they were always around, I never really did a whole lot of drugs.
15 I was on the ski team & the soccer team in high school.
16 I like most genres of music but only very specific things in each genre.
17 I think people should read my blog more often because what I have to say is important & thought provoking.
18 I’m kind of scared of the future, but in a good way I think.
19 I’ve never read Harry Potter, Narnia, or Lord of the Rings & I have no desire to read them.
20 I’ve been teaching since 1998 but I still feel like an imposter sometimes.
21 I saw Blues Traveler more times than I saw the Grateful Dead… ridiculous… but it was fun.
22 I dig my white blanket w/ pink roses on it.
23 I’ve dedicated about 279 hours of my life to watching James Bond films if we’re counting Never Say Never Again and the Woody Allen/David Niven Casino Royale. About 260 if we’re not. Here's the link to my blog post where I quantified it originally... I had to adjust for the last couple years now though.
24 I should be reading Tropic of Cancer right now, but I got side-tracked.
25 I’ve been through some weird shit over the last few years.

New Semester, New Office

So the move back to Pray Harrold has gone pretty well. My mini-fridge that was once Jim's mini-fridge didn't make the transition back w/me, but everything else is here. My bookshelves & microwave that was once GB Cross's microwave showed up yesterday after a little worry. It turns out, I don't really need the shelves anyway though since there are nice ones built in now. I've also got a much bigger office than before too... in fact, it's bigger than most other people too for some reason. There's no window, but there's also no office-mate, so that's pretty sweet. W/o an office-mate, I no longer feel obligated to keep my pants on & stuff, so I've got that going for me! Although, there's no shower like in Hoyt, so the motivation to disrobe isn't quite as strong.
Here's the break down on the renovations~~
The positives:
1) Everything looks great. the little things around the building including the new new name/signs above the entrances that look like a location listings on Fringe are cool.
2) The landscaping is nice w/ big rocks on the hill going up to Porter & ivy on the building to make it look like an actual college.
3) The new phones are nice... I even have working voicemail for the first time.
4) my office is HUGE! I know I already covered this, but it's pretty freaking amazing.
5) The classrooms have good tech stuff & the holes in the floor have been fixed. In general, they look fantastic & are no longer embarrassing.
6) Everyone seems to be in a great mood about everything.

The negatives:
1) OK, the Part-Time-Lecturer-Faculty members (formerly known as the part time lecturers) have offices in another building so they aren't in the same good mood as everyone else... & rightly so.
2) I think I have poison ivy behind my left knee. it might not have anything to do w/ the renovations, but it's still a negative.
3) I now need 2 keys instead of 1 to get into my office. At least they don't need to be turned simultaneously like I'm launching a nuclear missile though. However, I was hoping the renovations would have done away w/ keys all together. My fingers were crossed for retina scanners or @ least voice activation. I wanted to be able to say, "Sex machine to all the chicks," & then hear, "Andre's voice recognition activated. You may enter." It would have been even sweeter if the voice was the same as the hot British woman whose voice comes out of the ATM on on the 1st floor. As it stands, we're stuck w/ keys.
4) Not everyone has been able to get their keys yet.
5) the blow-dryers in the restrooms are really, really loud.So there you have it. Money well spent. A sweet, sweet renovation. I think the students seem to be happy w/ it too.

3D Movies Yesterday

I know it's been a while since my last post. Sorry. I'll keep you waiting no longer. I was thinking about a post about my trip up North w/ the kids last week, but that was covered pretty well on Facebook. I was also thinking about a post about Arsenal, but that should really wait until after the close of the transfer window this evening. Therefore, we'll go w/ the 2 movies I saw yesterday. I think it was the 1st time since 1988 that I saw 2 films in theaters in a single day. Back then I was all about the Micheal Keaton/Jack Nicholson Batman. I saw it 8 times @ the canton Cinema 6 that summer.
Yesterday, I took to the kids to lunch @ Coney Joes in Brighton & then we saw Spy Kids 4D. Coney Joes is a fantastic little hod dog shack. Spy Kids 4D is an unnecessary addition to the Spy Kids franchise. But my kids liked it so that was fine... & Ricky Gervais does the voice of the robotic dog. He gets to just do his schtick throughout the movie so that was cool. Joel McHale is in it too... but there was no "Kick Ass Clip of the Day."

After work, Sara from Nicola's & I went to see the new Conan the Barbarian remake in 3D. It sucks! It makes me want to kick Marcus Nispel's ass. He could very well be the worst director alive. We got to the theater to find out we were the only ones seeing it. The screen was dark & then the lights went off as though they weren't going to show the movie. Of course, we couldn't get off that easily. I called the office to tell them we were there & waiting. The film started w/o any of the normal commercials/trailers, but it was screwed up. The 3D was all blurry so we had to go complain to get it fixed. It then became clear that Nispel 7 his cronies only used the 3D technology as an after-thought. It was used so poorly that we didn't even get any blood-splatter. Even when the guy's nose was cut off, it didn't come flying at us. That said, I could definitely see myself watching it over & over again. It's a piece of shit, but it's fun as Hell so long as you don't ask too much of it. (And asking anything at all would be too much.)

Neko & My Morning Jacket

Dig her beauty!For the 1st time since I saw Blues Traveler there 4 years ago (here's a review of that show, if you're interested... & I know you are) & only the 2nd time ever, I headed out to Meadowbrook last night for a concert. I went w/ Sara from Nicola's after the Arsenal v Udinese match (the Gunners won 1-0). Once there, we also got to hang w/ Laura which is always pretty awesome. I'd been wanting to see Neko Case for years, but I wasn't very familiar w/ My Morning Jacket. As it turns out, they kind of rock, but more on that after a few numbered thoughts:
1) Meadowbrook is pretty awesome. I need to go there more often. It's a lot closer than Pine knob & it's small & intamate.
2) Neko Case is awesome. She's smart, & beautiful, & interesting, & she has an amazing voice.
3) I wish Neko Case had been able to play a longer set.
4) Beer is better @ Meadowbrook than Pine Knob... & cheaper.
5) A thin blanket to sit on was a good idea, but a thinner one to keep us warm might have been a good idea.
6) I wish they didn't have the lights @ the top of the hill so we could have seen the stars better.

Neko played 6 or 7 songs. They came out & there were sound problems so they went back stage for another 10 minutes. When things were straightened out, she & her band rocked for a half hour or so. My Morning Jacket then came out & kind of blew us away. I'd been told by people on The Phil Zone that they might be the best live act since The Q. Well, that's a bit ridiculous, but they were definitely good. And the light show was absolutely stellar. They played for about 2 hours plus a 5 song encore (which included a duet w/ Neko on "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around"):
1. Victory Dance
2. Circuital
3. You Wanna Freak Out
4. Off The Record
5. I'm Amazed
6. Anytime
7. Lowdown
8. Wonderful (The Way I Feel)
9. Slow Slow Tune
10. Lay Low
11. Dondante
12. Gideon
13. Smokin From Shootin
14. (end of) Run Thru
15. First Light
16. Touch me I'm Going To Scream Pt.2
17. Touch me I'm Going To Scream Pt.1
18. War Begun
----------
19. Wordless Chorus
20. The Day Is Coming
21. Stop Draggin My Heart Around
22. Holdin On To Black Metal
23. One Big Holiday
They can definitely rock, & Jim James definitely has a touch of the Ronnie James Dio in his stage persona. They also clearly wear their influences on their sleeves, but unlike so many hippie bands, theirs seem a lot more varied. And they are kind of dark... like the darkest moments of a YEM jam blown out for 20 minutes, or some dark Pink Floyd stuff... plus The Faces & Kiss all wrapped into one weird ass thing. I gotta say, I dug them.
Dig his boots!

Feather Bowling & Fábregas

For the b-day girls (Solstice & Elizabeth), we went out to eat @ The Cadieux Cafe last night. The food was good & the feather bowling was super fun. All 3 of my kids got the "Chicken Finger Club Sandwich," a huge bun w/ chicken & bacon. They all loved it. Seeing as it's a Belgian place, I got the Peter Paul Reuben (as did Dan). It was good, ranking maybe 3rd or 4th on my all-time list of Reubens. Elizabeth & my parents all got the all-you-can-eat mussels. They were good too. All-in-all, I'd say the drive to the East Side of Detroit would be worth it just for the food... even if they didn't have Feather Bowling. For those of you not in the know, it's kind of like curling got its chocolate in shuffle board's peanut butter. There's a long lane kind of like bowling, but it's dirt & concave. At either end, there's a feather sticking out of the dirt & the players roll cheese shaped "stones" towards it, & the closest ones get the points. We played boys v girls & since it was their b-days, we let the girls win. We're nice like that.In other "F" news, Cesc Fábregas finally signed w/ Barcelona ending an 8 year run in N. London. He was the Arsenal captain for his last 2 years, & it's generally understood that he was given the captaincy in an attempt to convince him to stay put. Well, it's clear that it didn't work. He was great though, & he represents the rare occasion when a player leaves because he actually really wants to play for a specific team... & who can blame him. He was raised in Barcelona, he came up through their academy, & they're the current European Champions... maybe I should make a move from Verde to Barcelona. We'll see if it's in the cards. Here's a fun collection of pics from The Guardian celebrating his years @ Arsenal: Cesc Fábregas's Arsenal career - in pictures.
Making his 1st team debut against Rotherham United: 28 October 2003

On this day of all days... give our last show a listen

The Day James Bond Jumped a River, Boy!

As you've probably heard... it made all the papers, after all... I've been watching the James Bond movies w/ Sara (a friend from Nicola's) this summer. 2 nights ago, we had a viewing of The Man w/ the Golden Gun. I dig Christopher Lee, I dig those tall islands in Phang Nga Bay, & I dig supernumerary nipples, so this movie is obviously high on my list of fav Bond films. I mean, come on, 2 out of 3 would be sweet... but all in one movie three? Almost heaven!

The thing is that there's a scene that almost... not quite, but almost... pushes the movie over the edge. Bond is chasing Scaramanga (Lee's character) & needs a car. He runs into a dealership and steals an AMC off the show-floor. The sheriff, J. W. Pepper, from Live & Let Die happens to be looking @ the car & sitting in the passenger seat. (Why he's considering buying an AMC in Phuket is never explained). Bond jumps in the driver's seat & takes off after Scaramanga. When they realize they're on the wrong side of a river, there's only one option: jump it from a dilapidated wooden bridge while doing a corkscrew/barrel roll thing. It's pretty beautiful... & it might have been an influence on The Dukes of Hazzard.The thing is that this begs the question: "Did James Bond 'Jump the Shark' 4 years before Fonzie?" Of course, the phrase "Jump the Shark" jumped the shark years ago, but this is important, so bear w/ me. You see, while we were watching the film, Hub was showing all 3 parts of the Happy Days shark jump episode. Of course, since I was thinking ahead, I recorded it for later. I watched it yesterday morning, & it turns out, the episode holds up pretty well. Aside from the fact that an enormous shark is being kept in a little pen right where everyone is swimming/surfing/water-skiing, when viewed in its entirety, one realizes that it's actually better than a lot of Happy Days episodes. And Henry Winkler seems to do a lot of his own skiing.To top it all off, this has all happened in the middle of what a million facebook posts seem to suggest is Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. Sweet, sweet synchronicity!

My Name is August West

I posted a bunch of videos on facebook to celebrate Jerry's b-day today, but this needs a special place here. It could very well be the perfect video for Jerry's b-day. Be sure to notice Bobby teaching the song to Pete Townshend in the background. Also notice Townshend jumping around like an 80s new-wave fool. Also, listen to Jerry's playing... fantastic!

In which we wrap up July & move straight on into August

Well, the summer's been flying by. It's already time to start thinking about fall classes. I scored an extra one the other day, a poetry class in Detroit, about which I'm pretty excited. I haven't done a poetry in a few years, so it should be extra fun. I've still got a couple weeks to go in the current semester, so I won't really start planning too much yet, but you can count on a couple days of Whitman!

In other July news, I've kind of let the Tom Cruise-a-thon fall by the wayside, but along w/ a couple days of Whitman, you can also count on a resurgence of Cruise soon.
In the mean time, I've had my way w/ about a third of the James Bond Films, almost all of the Kevin Smiths, & a Tarzan marathon on TCM. Have you watched the old Tarzan movies? You should! They're shit, but they're super fun. They show one every Saturday morning after an hour of old serials. At the moment, they're showing an old Zorro one. It sucks worse than the Tarzan film, but it's interesting.

As August rears it hot, humid head, we've got a short camping trip on the horizon. We'll be hitting Petoskey after the semester is over for a couple nights. I'm excited & I think the kids are too.

The other thing about which I'm excited is the start of the 2011-12 Premier League. Arsenal's first match is against Newcastle on the 13th. Set your DVRs. Hopefully, they'll have the defensive issues sorted out by then. They still need a couple more people. In order for that to happen, we should also be able to wave goodbye to a few: Squillaci, Bendtner, Almunia, & Eboue will hopefully see the exit door. If I had my druthers, Diaby would be joining them. It looks like they may be hanging on to Nasri &/or Fabregas which is nice. However, they better get their shit together soon, because a draw w/ The New York Red Bulls today was certainly not impressive. An MLS team for crying out loud! The folks looking good so far include Rosicky (who I've always liked & have wanted to assert himself after his weird run of injuries... maybe this could be his year), RVP (quick & creative), Wilshire (although he got hurt today), Gervinio (the marque signing of the summer so far), Frimpong 9who was supposed to the other big thing last year but sustained a season ending injury in the preseason), & today the other young kid, Afobe (he subbed on in the 7th minute today & looked not at all out of place).
So there you have it... the season preview w/ a July review & some teasers for the month of August... enjoy. And then enjoy this fantastic video of a TV showing one of the greatest Arsenal chants of all time: "Evra, you're a cunt!"

Local Bookstores

For those of you living under rocks, in caves, or on the moon, here's a little piece of info you've been missing (for the rest of you, I'm sure you're aware of this already): Borders Books & Music is closing this week. They took the first steps towards liquidation last week. It's been an iconic A2 store since 1971, but 40 years on, they had overstepped their bounds. I worked there for a few years about 10 years back, & the downtown #1 store was fantastic. It was always crowded, the selection was great, & the employees really knew the inventory. I made a few friends there that I still run into around town too. It's sad to see it go, but I must admit, I hadn't bought anything there in quite a while. My recent avoidance of the store wasn't for the reasons the media has been reporting though. It has more to do w/ a general avoidance of corporate stuff like that.

The news is all about the competition from Amazon. However, no brick & mortar store will ever compete w/ a web-site so when they started trying to do that, they were setting themselves up for failure. Discounted prices, focusing on best-sellers, constant expansion, & a shift towards non-book stuff compounded to bring about this less-than-sudden change. As a Monday morning quarterback, it's easy to say, "They should've done...." but it's not that simple. We're talking about the livelihoods of a lot of people. Of course, not as many per store as when I worked there, since the staff had been shrinking over the last 10 years. Had they maintained a staff that actually knew about books, rather than a skeleton crew of automatons, they may have been able to avoid the vacant sales floors & shrinking stock. There I go w/ the Monday morning quarterbacking though.

Hopefully, this will give people the kick in the ass they need to start supporting local businesses again. Malcolm X was talking about this issue in 1964. Of course, people scoffed @ him as a fringe lunatic. Kucinich has been talking about this for years... again w/ the Fringe lunatic status though. Be they grocery stores, coffee shops, book stores or what have you, I'm gonna go out on that same lunatic limb & remind you to start patronizing the local stuff.

Here's a fun little quote from Malcolm X for you:

You and I have to make a start and the best place to start is right in the community where we live. So our people not only have to be re-educated to the importance of supporting black business, but the black man himself has to be made aware of the importance of going into business. And once you and I go into business, we own and operate at least the businesses in our community. What we will be doing is developing a situation wherein we will actually be able to create employment for the people in the community. And once you can create some employment in the community where you live it will eliminate the necessity of you and me having to act ignorantly and disgracefully, boycotting and picketing some practice some place else trying to beg him for a job. Anytime you have to rely upon your enemy for a job - you’re in bad shape.

He's clearly talking about economics from a racial standpoint, but however we look @ it, the idea of keeping money in the community is @ heart of his claims. Whether we're shipping money to Arkansas, Minnesota, or SE Asia, it's leaving Michigan. Only by keeping it @ 'round these parts will we be able to employ the people 'round these parts. It will probably mean spending a little extra on a daily basis, but in the long run (be they books, vegetables, or cars) the products we buy here keep the cash here. This is the same argument we've been making for organic vegetables, for local farming, & for local restaurants for years. Only when one of the big boys goes under, do poele start paying attention though.

Is this really just a plug for Nicola's? No, but already, I've seen Borders employees in there looking for work. And as you start shopping locally, remember that I'll be moderating a Sci/Fi panel tomorrow @ Nicola's w/ Sarah Zettel, Jacqueline Carey, & Jim Hines (Sarah live in Ypsi & Jim is an EMU English Dept. grad). I've never moderated anything before, so you can come out tomorrow night & watch me trip over my words. It should be pretty cool.

& the Rest v the Prof & Mary Ann

When I put Isaiah to bed @ night, he always needs me to sing him a few songs. The problem w/ this is 2-fold. 1) I'm not very good @ singing... luckily, he doesn't know that. 2) My repertoire is pretty small. Going way back to when Solstice was a baby, my song choices have always included "City of New Orleans," "Tangled Up in Blue," Monkey & the Engineer," & "Ripple." That's really it... 4 options. Last spring, I decided to add "St. Stephen" & "Dark Star" to the mix, but as it turns out, "Dark Star" doesn't really work in that situation, & I always confuse the "St. Stephen" verses. Isaiah also enjoys a run-through of "Twinkle-Twinkle," "The Alphabet Song," or "Old McDonald." All of which are fine, but a tad on the boring side, so in a desperate move a few weeks ago, I added some old TV theme songs to the mix: "The Ballad of Jed Clampet," "The Good Ol' Boys," "The Brady Bunch," & "The Ballad of Gilligan's Isle."As it turns out, I have mixed feelings about "The Ballad of Gilligan's Isle." I always supported the the 2nd Season switch to include the Prof & Mary Ann as some sort of equality issue, but now that I've been singing it on a semi-regular basis, I understand the original lyrics. (Side note: a different song was used in the pilot episode, a song written by John Williams... yeah, that John Williams!) I guess it really comes down to the whole aesthetics vs politics debate. "& the rest" just fits better into the meter of the tune. As it stands, I've been switching back & forth from night to night (occasionally going w/ both). I'm really stuck here, & I think this is a much more interesting conundrum than the more traditional Ginger v Mary Ann debate. Although, for that one, I think I would resolve it the same way.

A Mid-Summer Soccer Post

After the USMNT piss-poor collapse in the Gold Cup Finals, there'd been little to watch until the Women's World Cup began a couple weeks ago. As one would expect, it hasn't had quite the coverage as the Men's equivalent last summer. I wonder why that is... oh yeah, sexism. That said, the games have been pretty good. At the moment, I'm watching USA v France, & here we have the the biggest conundrum of the summer. These 2 women's teams are sort of opposite in my mind from their men's equivalents. What I mean is that the french Men's team has been really good for generations while the USA men's team has only recently been worth watching. On the other hand, the French women's team has never made it to the World Cup (at least I think that's the case... I could be wrong), & the US team has been one of the best for years & years.

Watching these 2 teams, though, is tough. I think I would have preferred them to meet in the finals.I've been following the French Football Federation since the 1982 World Cup. As you know, they were robbed by the ref in the semi-finals then when the German goalie came out of the box, missed the ball entirely, & knocked the french player out cold... the ref said there was no foul.Italy went on the win the tournament which cemented a rivalry w/ our Italian neighbors... & cemented a place in my heart for FFF.

The French team is definitely looking better today, but the US goal was really nice. I gotta say, I haven't been nearly as impressed by Abby Wambach as the media would have me think I should be throughout this tournament. She's missed a few sitters & just looked a bit out of sorts. yes, she got the last gasp winner against Brazil, but in general, she's looked more like Bendtner than like RVP.

Speaking of Arsenal players, they had their 1st pre-season friendly this morning in Kuala Lampur against Malayasia XI. Arsenal won 4-0 w/ goals from Ramsey, Walcott, Vela & Rosicky. The good news (other than the decisive win) is that Nasri looked good & dedicated, Vermaelin was amazing, & Denielson's days look numbered. He subbed on @ halftime but was them taken off in the 61st minute. That can't bode well for his future. Of course, when he came off (along w/ a few other people), Nasri, RVP, Ashavin, & Sagna came on. It must have been rough for Malaysia XI to be down 3-0 & see that group of people waiting to come on.The final tid-bit of soccer info today comes in the form of a Verde FC alert. We're playing in a tournament on Belle Isle on Sunday afternoon. Come on down, drink so beer, & cheer on you local 5th division team. It'll be your last chance to see me play until the 2nd fall match... I'll be serving a suspension during the first match this fall. I was handed a happy b-day red card last month. Perhaps you heard about that. It made all the papers, well, it made my facebook status & I think I blogged about it too. Shocking, I know.

Weekend Adventures

On Saturday afternoon, after I watched Aiden's baseball game, I headed out to Saline to enjoy the annual Saline Celtic Festival. It was smaller & attended by far fewer people than past years, but we had a good time none-the-less. There was a lot of free hooch throughout the afternoon. After a glass of Glenfiddich @ the McPherson tent, I hit the beer tent for lunch. A less-than-stellar Reuben w/ a perfectly stellar Guinness was then followed by a few pitchers of Boddingtons w/ Daye & Pete. We checked out the festival some more & Zoli got a kilt before heading back to the beer tent for a second round & some music & dancing.

Afterwards, we hit Dominick's for dinner. Oddly, there doesn't seem to be a web-site for that place. I don't get it. If anyone finds one, be sure to post a link in the comments. There's a bland facebook page, a Yelp page, & an entry on Arborwiki, but no actual home page. I think that's kind of weird. According to the wiki page, the place was opened in 1959. Something that old should certainly have a site. I don't get it. Even w/o a web-site, they make a hell of a lobster ravioli. It was sooooo good. We also enjoyed a couple pitchers of sangria & a fantastic plate of olives. I used to dislike olives, but lately, I just can't get enough of them.

After dinner, we walked down to Tom's gallery for his one night only show. It was fun, Matt (Stephanie's brother) had a photo in the exhibit, & we got to enjoy some Run & Cokes. On the way back to the car, we hit Ashley's for a couple beers. It was only gonna be one, but as we were getting ready to go, the server said her manager recognized me as his former English Prof. & wanted to buy me a beer. who am I to turn that offer down. As a matter of fact, I feel I wasn't really turning anything down that night.

I then ended up @ The Tap Room to see Gerry, Warren, Shannon, & Laurie in their new band, Wellfire. They were really good & super fun. I promise some videos as soon as Warren uploads them. All in all, a fantastic day, & if I remember correctly, I feel like I may have had a few drinks too. Then to top it all off, I woke up on time for work Sunday morning w/o even a hint of a hangover... I probably should have bought a lottery ticket.

Gated Communities

This absolutely unoffensive and in no way problematic marriage pledge being signed by the GOP Presidential candidates got me thinking about the people who actually buy into this stuff. Safe and secure in secluded subdivisions behind walls and manicured berms, they have apparently convinced themselves that Black kids had it better under Slavery than under Obama & that (in a line lifted from Dan Quayle) divorce & single-parenthood may very well be the root of all evil. Well, after thinking on this for a few minutes, I decided that I shouldn't think on it any longer, but before I came to that conclusion, I was inspired to write a song... the 1st one since my last December's Holiday song, "All I Want for Christmas is a Shotgun." You may recall it, but even if you don't, it doesn't really matter. Here's the new one: think Arlo Guthrie doing Texas Swing. This could have gone on w/ verses about SUVs, large gas grills, & Christopher Cross, but I chose to end it after 3, Enjoy.

I wanna live in a gated community
Where everyone looks and acts just like me
We’re all safe behind our seasonal flags
There ain’t no Spics and there ain’t no fags
The men are strong and the women don’t nag
In a gated community

We’ll all be safe in our gated community
Where things are always exactly as they seem to be
We’re red blooded Americans
Our lawn’s maintained by the Mexicans
Our beer is from the Canadians
In our gated community

We’ll get to heaven from our gated community
It’s just a matter of time, don’t you see?
We like to party out on our yacht
We read best-sellers but we don’t read a lot
We only hit the most touristy spots
From our gated community

Tom Cruise: The Reviews Part 2

The Cruise-a-thon has been moving forward in the most interesting of ways. So far, I have to say, this might be the best summer movie marathon yet, but in the end, rivaling Arnold will be tough. Along w/ the Cruise fest, I've also been rewatching Lost w/ the kids & w/ Sara from Nicola's I'm in the middle of a Summer of Bond... in which we're up to Live & Let Die. As for the Cruise movies, here are the reviews of the 2nd 8 (the 1st 8 are here):

Knight & Day: Not nearly as bad as I expected. it's a fun action/comedy w/ some nice Mission Impossiblesque jokes. Of course, the plot has huge holes, but it's a big-budget action movie, so those are par for the course. (2 1/2 Volleyballs)

Valkyrie: A really cool movie, but the actors (Cruise included) never really seemed to give a shit. It was like they were just going through the motions. There was never any tension. Of course, we know it's not gonna work, but historical films usually find a way to add a little something that will make the audience give a damn. Maybe it needed a focus on his relationship w/ his wife or something. In the end, it's worth watching, but it's no 4 volleyball flick. (3 volleyballs)

Austin Powers in Goldmember: I only watched a little of this one. I suffered through it last year w/ Spacey. It's bad. And I mean bad... not good. Not like Michael Jackson in 1986, but like Michael Jackson in 1993. If you haven't already wasted an hour & a half w/ this clunker, don't! (0 volleyballs)

Vanilla Sly: A very cool movie, but it could have gone a bit further. They started w/ a nice premise, but by the end, it was a tad Hollywooded. I'll definitely watch it again though, & I think it'll make more sense the 2nd time through. (3 1/2 volleyballs)

Jerry McGuire: I almost squeezed out a couple tears towards the end of this. Don't get me wrong; I didn't... I just almost did. I can't believe I'd never seen it before. Cuba Gooding Jr. is fantastic; if only he had followed this up by then making something else worth while over the last 12 years, I might consider viewing his stuff next year. Alas, it won't happen. (3 volleyballs)

Far & Away: I saw this when it was first released on video & had pretty fond memories of it. In hind sight, I shouldn't have had fond memories. It's not so great. I like the premise, but it's pretty forced & patched together. I say, skip it unless you need a heartwarming St. Patrick's Day movie some time.

The Color of Money: Unlike Far & Away, this is even better than I remembered. I guess, when someone puts Paul Newman, Martin Scorsese, & Robbie Robertson in a room together, we shouldn't be surprised that what came out was pretty fantastic. Everything about it is great. Do yourself a favor & watch it again! (4 volleyballs)

Risky Business: After watching it a couple weeks ago, I came to the realization that I may never have seen it all the way through before. It's fun, but not as great as I expected. The plot is pretty bizarre though. I guess I knew what it was about, but he turns his house into a brothel to pay off some implausible debt. Only to be topped a few years ago in Babysitters, a film about a group of high schoolers who sleep w/ the local dads in order to save up for college. (2 volleyballs)

Skynyrd on the 4th

I've never been a big fan of the retro-rock extravaganza, but when I heard that Whitey & the 78s were opening for Skynyrd @ Pine Knob, it was just too cool to ignore. I didn't think I was actually gonna be able to go though, but then @ zero hour, Stacey came through w/ a sweet, sweet pair of free lawn tix. I met Liz & Dan @ my parents' place for some ribs & beans, then Dan & I were off to Clarkston. We picked up Bud Tall Boys from 7-11 & then started counting Stars-n-Bars... 38 by my count, including a Sharpee drawn fake tattoo on some douchebag's arm & a ridiculous full on flag pole on the tail gate of an old yellow pick-up.

We downed the Buds in the lot then headed in right as Whitey & the boys were starting "Bad News." They played for about 45 minutes... & in my humble opinion, they rocked it. I hope they're able to parley this into some other big stuff. When Skynyrd came out, I was a bit shocked by 2 things: 1) how many of their songs I actually knew & 2) how bad they are. I've never been a fan, but wow! We took off after about 45 minutes. We heard "What's Your Name," "Working for MCA," "Simple Man," & that one about "can't you smell that smell?" Apparently, the set-list had them closing w/ Sweet Home Alabama" & encoring w/ "Freebird," but there was no way we could make it that long.

As for the crowd? Good Lord! It was like the Secretary of State office on Meth. And so many of them were taking it sooo seriously. The "skanky-ass-ho" factor made the Springsteen show I went to last year look like Sunday School. They really came out of the woodwork to hear some Skynyrd. Ironically, Whitey played the Hell out of Pine Knob while the Skynyrd fans didn't really pay enough attention. I think they were able to appreciate them though. I definitely hope they were. Maybe they sold some CDs & swag too.

Dan in his Skynyrd costume


Rocking the Tall Boys


Whitey rocking out!
Skynyrd doing their schtick